How to fix the Panthers offensive line in three easy steps (you're welcome, Matt Rhule)

Mark J. Rebilas-USA TODAY Sports

If I'm perfectly honest with you guys, I know what the hell I'm talking about. Truly, I should be getting paid for consultation services like this. I'm hitting my parleys by a rate of 80%+ and it's only a matter of time before I start raking in big money. I know football. I love football. I worship football. Truthfully, what the hell am I doing IT for? I should be following my passion instead and making the big bucks.

Anyway, I'm going to give to Matt Rhule and the Carolina Panthers football team what is known as a 'Gimme'. I'm going to tell you exactly how to fix the Panthers offensive line. Best case scenario. We're gonna retool this bad boy in a week and we're gonna turn it into an average offensive line in a few quick, easy steps. Just listen to me. Do what I tell you to do. I'm writing this on my lunch break and my time I view as extremely valuable. This is how you do it in three easy steps.

Step 1

Leave Taylor Moton at right tackle.

We've been over this I don't know how many times. But I'm tired of watching the Panthers screw around with Taylor Moton. Seriously, the guy is the only bright spot on this offensive line and we keep trying to move him to left tackle. Stop it! The guy has been at right tackle his whole life. He enjoys the position. He performs well at the position. Stop messing with what works. He's the only bright spot on the offensive line and we keep trying to throw dirt on it. Stop it immediately.

Step 2

Call up Russell Okung. The guy only played for us for five games last year. But in those five games, he was in the upper echelon of left tackles in the League. It's time to get in contact with him and see what he's got left in the tank. Call him up, offer to pay him in bitcoin, get the deal done. Right now there's nobody on the roster that can take the position. Understand that. Call up Okung. Make sure he's in shape. Get him signed and grab a left tackle in the draft. You got to do what you got to do.

Step 3

Promote Brady Christian to the guard spot. Right now, we are dead on guards and we already have a right tackle. Unless you want to take a swing at Christian at left tackle, which will undoubtedly fail this year, then move him to guard and get his weight up to 320. Both Dennis Daley and John Miller have been getting mauled. You need to at least move Christian into the rotation so he's not the odd man out. If you're lucky, you can have him up and running in a few weeks. The other guard spot you can rotate out between Miller and Daley and play with fresh legs. But if you commit to Christian at the guard spot hard and have him put on weight, it'll pay off long term for the rest of the season.

There you go. Offensive line fixed. I expect my check in the mail. Peace. I'm gonna go get Chinese.

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