Ahhh it’s that time of the year again. Black Friday. The only day of the year where millions of people gather in the United States to celebrate the joy of fighting and/or trampling one another over BOGOs and “50% or more off” deals all across America — just ONE DAY after giving thanks for the things they already have.
What a time.
Thanksgiving time always leaves one reflecting on the things one is thankful for in life. Thankful for jobs. Thankful for material objects. Usually, one is just thankful for the friends and family they’re the closest with.
But one person I found myself being thankful for this year is one I didn’t expect and who doesn’t receive near the amount of praise by this fanbase as they should.
FAAAAANS … Marty @!&*ing Hurney. Is. BACK.
Yeah, yeah, I know you’re saying right now “But he never left” with your smug look and raised nostrils and okay, maybe technically, he never did. But stop huffing at me for just one sec and hear me out.
See, we operated for MONTHS on CSR after Rivera was fired on the thought that Hurney’s inevitable release was quickly on the horizon. This is what we in the biz like to refer to as “a dead man walking.” Or in Hurney’s case, “a fired man working.” For MONTHS, it was like we had already moved on as if he’d already been fired because in our minds, he had been. We were ALL that sure.
And as the off-season saw “Golden God” Matt Rhule slide more comfortably into his Rhulegime — alongside his trusty cohorts of Joe “Cool” Brady and “Old Bastard” Phil Snow — we still expected Big Hurn’s demise at any time. Yearning for that day when we casually check in on CSR and see the Breaking News banner announcing his termination — a day that never came. And probably never will.
But I ask you … why the hell should that day ever come? Are we that ignorant to the greatness we have already in front of us?
Put some RESPECK on Big Hurn’s name!
His journey is one of someone who knows damn well what it means to Keep Pounding. We’re talking about a man comparable only to Thanos, really. Someone who spends years gathering enough “gems” to fill a Super Bowl roster, then snaps our cap-space in half before disappearing to somewhere far away in isolation.
He doesn’t plot. He doesn’t hate. He just … waits. Patiently. Methodically.
Why? Because he already knew what we should have known, ourselves, but didn’t. Or something we knew deep down inside, but stubbornly refused to accept — that he was inevitable. That the Panthers ultimately would not be able to live with their own failure. And where would that bring them?
Back to him.
Then there’s the great streak you’ll never hear anyone talk about enough. An unprecedented track record of success in the NFL draft which he is still using to pad his legacy as it continues to shape our organization.
We all know the only flaw on his resume that even comes close to being a “bust” is Jeff Otah. We also know Otah doesn’t fall under the “bust” label due to his career being derailed by injuries — rather than performance or character issues — and that he was a great player, otherwise, when healthy.
My man’s first round “busts” are everyone else’s greatest picks. And if death and taxes are the only guarantees in life, then Big Hurn’s first round draft resume is putting that theory to the ultimate test.
You can now add DJ Moore to that list. He’s blossomed into a legit No. 1 wide receiver in his third season and a big play threat just waiting to happen. Add Brian Burns to that list, as well. In just his second year, he’s already on the verge of elite status with the sheer amount of carnage he can produce when rushing the passer. His potential is starting to feel limitless.
Time will tell if Derrick Brown pans out or not, but he’s already showing signs of improvement as the season goes on. Still, it’s a safe bet he’ll wind up on the list eventually because let’s be real … who are we to doubt the undefeated, NEVA LOST, single greatest first round GM in NFL history?
Look, we can’t just keep wallowing away in the second–seventh rounds of ye olde drafts of Panthers lore and harping on Big Hurn’s history of domestic salary-cap abuse. So what if he was on a bit of a slump there for a few years? This is Hurn 2.0 babaay! We have to appreciate the greatness of how he makes up for those deficiencies.
When everyone on earth was speculating with 189% certainty that he was donezo (again), Hurney didn’t play no shit. Never, ever played no shit. He just stuck his middle-finger in the air at us all and kept doing his job.
Put some RESPECK on it.
How bout his unrivaled ability to escape a hot pocket and avoid getting sacked when the team is crumbling around him?
Put some RESPECK on it.
Of course, you have the aforementioned unabridged knowledge in identifying 1st-round talent.
Put some RESPECK on it.
He’s even started his own general manager tree with rousing success. His former protégé, Brandon Beane, is helping Sean McDermott turn the Bills (I repeat, the BUFFALO BILLS) into legit contenders right now — undoubtedly using the same tricks of the trade that Beane learned from his former mentor.
Put some RESPECK on it.
The time has simply come that we stop questioning the almighty Bagheera why Panthers fans can’t have nice things and we start being thankful for the greatness we already have in Marty Hurney.
The inevitable is here, just as he was always to be. And it’s been long overdue.
This is now an open thread!