Ed. Note - For those of you who enjoyed this series last year, we’ve decided to keep the same format for 2019. For those of you new to this, instead of focusing our attention on just the head coach of our opponent, we make jokes about anyone affiliated with the organization. So, instead of “Bruce Arians looks like...” you’ll get a collection of jokes about other folks as well. We hope you still enjoy reading this as much as we like doing it. -BS
To get us prepared for tonight’s game against the Buccaneers, the CSR staff decided to have a little fun by borrowing the ‘looks like game’ concept from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz on ESPN.
Ed. Note 2.0 - The Looks Like Game is the best thing that anyone does at ESPN and it’s not even close. If you’ve never experienced it before I highly recommend it. Trust me.
Below is a collection of our best efforts to figure out exactly what/who people from the Bucs organization look like. Feel free to discuss your favorite ones in the comments section, and you can even provide your own if you feel up to it.
Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. We’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, so if you happen to stumble across this and find your name mentioned, we sincerely hope you understand that we’re mostly kidding.
CSR looks like: Bucs edition...
Bruce Arians looks like the guy sitting at the end of the bar who’s pissed that they won’t play Steeley Dan after he asked for the fourth time since he got there.
Byron Leftwich looks like he is some level Boy Scout, white picket fence, capital-d Dad ass coach.
Jameis Winston looks like a guy who offers to split an Uber by buying your drinks and then goes to a different bar.
Lavonte David looks like the one middle school PE teacher nobody messes with.
Bruce Arians looks like a regular at a weekly “Wine and Design” class.
Carl Nassib looks like a former token fat kid child actor.
Byron Leftwich looks like he broke into the Body Worlds exhibit the night before his kids’ field trip and posed nude, tastefully censoring himself with a sign that read ‘Dad bod.’
Cameron Brate looks like the guy who says “No officer, I don’t know why my car smells like pot” during a traffic stop.
Bruce Arians looks like a guy who doesn’t tip waitresses because “he shouldn’t have to”.
Jameis Winston looks like a robot piloted by a mini-Nathan Peterman.
Byron Leftwich looks like he packs his kids lunches with motivational quotes.
Bryan Anger looks like he vapes CBD oil and tells everyone about it
Bruce Arians looks like a guy who spends his 3 hour layover at the bar in an airport Chili’s trying to impress the bartender with his knowledge of drill presses.
Byron Leftwich looks like a guy who calls to make a reservation for 3:00 on a Tuesday at Chili’s
Bruce Arians looks like a guy who is laying into the manager of the Atlanta airport Chili’s about the fact his Cajun Shrimp Pasta bowl is not up the standards he has come to expect from the chain.
Bruce Arians looks like a guy who threatens to leave a bad Yelp review for a free appetizer at Chili’s.
Joel Glazer looks like a guy who is perfectly satisfied with a .386 franchise winning percentage.
Cairo Santos looks like a guy that an NFL franchise would settle on after wasting a second round pick on “premium” kicker.
Carl Nassib looks like a guy who has uttered the phrase “I just checked with my manager, and I can bring the cost of that set of tires down another $30 for you” at least once in his life.
Bruce Arians looks like he tells the waitress “that’s not what I ordered” and then tells her he’s kidding, just to keep her on her toes.
Adam Humphries looks like the guy whose dad won’t shut up about how “Adam’s an Eagle Scout, you know”.
Byron Leftwich looks like his neighbors think pattern matching means mowing their yards the right way
Todd Bowles looks like he always asks for lemon with his water.
Blaine Gabbert looks like the guy who is questioned on his own boat in the first five minutes of a murder mystery drama.
Cameron Brate looks like the guy who actually did it in that murder mystery drama.
Vita Vea looks like Troy Polamalu who let himself go after retirement
Blaine Gabbert looks like he is an expert at balancing a sun burn and a hangover.
Devin White looks like Madden’s generic face 14.
Ryan Jensen looks like the ten-time pie eating champion at his small town’s county fair.
Bruce Arians looks like a judge at the Westminster Dog Show who gives extra points to the basset hound because he’s got a ‘nice set of hangers’ on him.
Do you have any looks like jokes you want to share? Or, would you like to talk about your favorites? Either way, let’s hear from you!