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‘Twas Christmas Day at BOA stadium

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‘Tis the season to be jolly, and recap a season of NFL folly.

Atlanta Falcons v Carolina Panthers Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images

‘Twas Christmas Day at BOA Stadium

The environment toxic like a high dose of radium

Carolina had started with a six-and-two mark

The “Comeback Dawgs” bite was as bad as its bark

But then things fell apart and with a stench reaching heaven

The Panthers inexplicably lost all their next seven

Pittsburgh beat us so bad that we all left with frowns

Then the Lions, the Seahawks, the Bucs, and the Browns

The Saints only scored twelve but our offense it farted

Then we lost to the Falcons as Heinicke started

Now with six wins to nine losses the season is dead

While hopes of high draft picks now dance in our heads

With things being somber the fans could just laugh

As Riverboat Ron boldly fired his staff

But Coach was missing the players deserved

As half of our squad landed on injured reserve

On Daryl! On Olsen! On Cockrell! On Matty!

Gano lost his leg, Cam’s shoulder was batty

Peppers and Adams, born with Martin van Buren

The NFL really seems to like Eric Reid’s urine

Clark and Newhouse’s blocking put Cam in a pickle

While Captain was only a penny’s worth nickle

Big Vern is starting to look like a bust

While Devin Funchess’ season sadly crumbled to dust

But amidst all the coal there were some reasons to cheer

Thanks to Christian McCaffrey’s record-breaking year

Curtis Samuel looked good, D.J. Moore can’t be tackled

While Bradberry and Donte wide receivers they shackled

TD is a beast and Taylor Moton’s no fluke

How lucky we are to always have “Luuuuuuuuuuke!”

This season was bad, a real dumpster fire

And it’s okay for fans to indulge in some ire

For we love our dear Panthers and want them to win

And it hurts when a season turns ugly as sin

“There’s always next year” - the refrain now resounding

Merry Christmas to all, and as always, Keep Pounding!