To get us prepared for Sunday’s game against John Fox and the Chicago Bears, the CSR staff decided to have a little fun at John Fox’s expense by borrowing the ‘looks like game’ concept from The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz on ESPN.
Ed. Note - The Looks Like Game is the best thing that anyone does at ESPN and it’s not even close. If you’ve never experienced it before I highly recommend it. Trust me.
Below is a collection of our best efforts to figure out exactly what/who John Fox looks like. Feel free to discuss your favorite ones in the comments section, and you can even provide your own if you feel up to it.
Disclaimer: This is all in good fun. We’re not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings here, so if you happen to stumble across this Foxy, we sincerely hope you understand that it is what it is.
John Fox looks like...
John Fox looks like a near-retirement police chief who’s tired of dealing with his incompetent detectives’ shenanigans in a buddy cop movie.
John Fox looks like your uncle Vinny that 'knows a guy.'
John Fox looks like the third base coach for a Triple-A baseball team.
John Fox looks like the guy who, when his teenage daughter goes on a date, pulls the boy to the side and talks about all the "remote places in rural West Virginia where no one could ever find you".
John Fox looks like the Hollywood extra who is always typecast as a grumpy conservative Senator from Mississippi.
John Fox looks like that guy who does everything the old school, “tried and true” way, like fixing the TV or keeping all his bank transactions in a check register. Only issue is he’s not very good at it, and it’s become harder and harder to do things his way. But, his only retort is “you millennials don’t know”, as he bounces the check for the new TV.
John Fox looks like a guy who would hit into you on the golf course instead of asking if he could play through.
John Fox looks like your average older dad who, when he has trouble with the computer, calls you and demands to know why those floppy disk things aren't working correctly.
John Fox looks like he doesn't understand why you would buy a Roomba when your dad left you a perfectly good broom in his will.
John Fox looks like a guy who still uses a flip phone, saying "smart phones shouldn't be called smart, they just make people dumber".
John Fox looks like a guy that knows the names of all the waitresses at his local Applebee’s.
John Fox looks like the dad that goes to Applebee's with his family and when the server says, "hi, I'm Amy and I'll be your server tonight," he responds with "hi I'm John and I'll be your customer tonight".
John Fox looks like the uncle who while on a family vacation makes a daily trip to the grocery store just to get away from everyone.
John Fox looks like a guy who has the same Facebook profile picture 10 times.
John Fox looks like he has killed a man for having the wrong opinion about pizza.
John Fox looks like a guy who has a lot of cash buried in his basement.
John Fox looks like the manager in a Lowe's ad who shows a chuckling Rob Gronkowski how to use a caulk gun correctly.
John Fox looks like the guy that a country club would send to escort you off the premises.
John Fox looks like the guy you bought a boat from off Craigslist.
John Fox looks like a small town mayor that doesn't know what the word 'infrastructure' means.
John Fox looks like a guy who owns a regional chain of tire stores.
John Fox looks like the suspended police chief who when asked if he has any regrets he says "I wouldn't have changed a thing."
John Fox looks like the guy who would protest getting charged 50 cents for a cup of ranch dressing by loudly proclaiming "I've been coming here over 25 years!"
John Fox looks like the guy who'd tell you the part should arrive in 3-5 days.
John Fox looks like a guy that would call young women “toots” in passing.
John Fox looks like the shift manager that won't give you the weekend off.
John Fox looks like the mid-level manager who does everything by the book because 'that's what they tell me to do'.
John Fox looks like a guy who would tell you not to call him Shirley.
John Fox looks like he asks store employees "Working hard or hardly working?" while shopping for groceries.
John Fox looks like a guy who has been told he should "get with the times" at least once a day.
John Fox looks like a guy that would spend the first half of a dinner in a restaurant pointing out all the tables that arrived after he did but got their food before him.
John Fox looks like he would tip the waitress $1 and say with a smirk 'don't spend it all in one place'.
John Fox looks like a guy who gave you hope for a bright future and then brick by brick tore it down over the course of five years until you finally had enough when he decided to run a tight end draw play on 3rd and 15.
Wait... that really happened. Never mind.
Which ones are your favorites, Panthers fans?