It can be said that football is like a movie. You pay hard-earned money to watch 3 hours of entertainment, and you will either love what you watched or lament that you wasted your precious dollars and time putting yourself through the unbearable torture. (If you've ever watched a Nicholas Sparks movie with your wife/gf, you know exactly what I mean.)
Anyway, here is the first half of the Panthers season if each game were a movie.
Week 1: Carolina Panthers 20, Tampa Bay Buccaneers 14
Movie: The Replacements
Why: Well first off, Derek Anderson IS Shane Falco. They both come through in a pinch and they both take sh*t serious. Derek Anderson led this rag tag bunch of Gettleman Guys to victory when everyone else doubted them.
Week 2: Carolina Panthers 24, Detroit Lions 7
Movie: Big Fish
Why: It was fun, exciting and adventurous, but in the end it was all a big lie.
Week 3: Carolina Panthers 19, Pittsburgh Steelers 37
Movie: Intolerable Cruelty
Why: Full disclosure, I've never seen this movie. Usually, I'll watch anything the Coen Bros put out, but watching Catherine Zeta Jones and George Clooney in a gold digging romcom is the real intolerable cruelty.
Week 4: Carolina Panthers 10, Baltimore Steve Smiths 38
Movie: Apocalypse Now
Why: The horror... The horror.
Week 5: Carolina Panthers 31, Chicago Bears 24
Movie: The English Patient
Why: Call this our "gadget" screen pass on 4th and "the whole field" to go with 40 some odd seconds left. Like every Carolina Panthers game, this list needs a total WTF play call.
Honorable Mention Plays: Deep bomb to Avant on 3rd and 1 with Cam "Mech Warrior" Newton at QB or the Flea Flicker to Cotchery.
Week 6: Carolina Panthers 37, Cincinnati Bengals 37
Movie: Full Metal Jacket
Why: There was a ton of intensity, dirty fighting by the opponent and ended in a tie. Also, much like the movie, the start was much better than the ending.
Week 7: Carolina Panthers 17, Green Bay Packers 38
Why: It was one of the most depressing games I've seen in recent memory as the Panthers never stood a chance. I'm also pretty sure the team was on drugs.
Week 8: Carolina Panthers 9, Seattle Seahawks 13
Why: It was long and boring, and everyone knew going in what would happen at the end. Also, the offensive playcalling for the last drive was like the part where Jack chose to stay in the water and freeze to death.
Week 9: Carolina Panthers 10, New Orleans Saints 28
Movie: Children of the Corn
Why: Not only was it a horror show of the game, but I am still being haunted from Saints fans from the time I lived in New Orleans.
Well, there you have it, folks: the first half of the Panthers season in movie form. Hopefully the season's second half will provide more enjoyment for us than the 3-5-1 overbudgeted and underperformed first half did.
We can only hope, right?