The Cat Box is Cat Scratch Reader's new section for joke posts, Panthers humor and other things to lighten the mood. It lets you know when something is written without seriousness in mind.
The internet is a gift that allows us to get near-instant gratification on the deepest darkest questions we hold in our hearts. Whether it's wondering if drinking bleach will let you pass a drug test or learning how to make bingo profitable, crowd-sourcing answers is the best way to learn something new.
I wandered over to Yahoo to ask them about Ron Rivera, thinking they'd know exactly what the Panthers' head coach needs to do.
Why can't Ron Rivera coach football?
Ron Rivera can't coach football. He doesn't call the time outs when he should and the panthers always lose in the 4th quarter.
Why can he coach football? I saw that he hates fast offense but why?
Up first we have Yahoo user 'Lay' who gets right to the point:
"cus hes mexican"
At first I thought this was extremely racist, but I think he just dropped a comma. I don't believe he's saying "because he is Mexican", but rather "Cus, he's Mexican!" I'm sorry Lay, but I'm not your cousin -- and Ron Rivera is Puerto Rican.
Well, we didn't get an answer off the bat. How disappointing. Maybe "Alice" has a good answer:
"No abla Ingles"
That's a shame. Alice's profile is private, so I couldn't view her other answers. I have a sneaking suspicion she can speak Ingles.
Yahoo user 'D' gives us the cold, hard truth.
"There's a lot of bad football coaches out there, and Rivera is one of them. Just have to hope the Panthers move on in a hurry."
Could the answer to "why is he a bad coach?" simply be "because he's a bad coach". I'll need to ponder this further.
Things got very confusing when "hays101 REVISITED" got involved.
"He loves you."
At first I thought "yeah, trolling much!" but now I'm starting to wonder if being Ron Rivera's concubine could have influenced his late-game decision making,