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Are you ready to forget about the Lindbergh baby?

Because the Panthers are about to make the news splash of the century. Or at least of the week. Maybe just Sunday?

Some kids just want their teachers to hug them.
Some kids just want their teachers to hug them.
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

There comes a point in every kindergarten teacher’s career where they have to decide how they want to be remembered. It comes at the same time for all of them. They have settled into their jobs, they know their way around the bathrooms and the cafeteria, they are no longer entirely intimidated by their student’s parents, and they are just starting to believe in their talents as a teacher. It is at this point that a teacher must decide if they are going to be that one teacher in ten thousand who makes the news, inspires a vast array of emotions in their students, and gets remembered by generations to come or if they are going to be like every other teacher and be left to gather dust in the dusty closets that are a metaphor for their student’s memories of their childhood.

The Panthers are on the cusp of this point, leaving the nation holding its breath in anticipation. We Panthers fans are also holding our breath, but only because we are caught on a line between being scared that our winning streak will continue and set us up for greater heart break later on and being slightly embarrassed by the novelty of that small flicker of hope that has lit in the candle of our hearts. The Panthers have seemed to walk this line all season with the grace and elegance of a club-footed tight rope walker.

Now, as their time in spot light approaches, I would like to believe that the Panthers are ready to spring into action. They will dash from the jungle, into the classroom, and kidnap Colin Kaepernick during naptime. The nation will be seized with a furor that, when settled, will leave people asking "Lindbergh had a baby? Shut up and tell me what happened to Colicky Colin!" Widows will weep in the streets, old men will shave their beards in mourning, and the Panthers will gladly forfeit their teaching license and right to vote after being convicted in absentia in federal court of child abduction.*

*The case will be in federal court because we are crossing state lines to commit this crime. Hooray for tourism.