Carolina Panthers Invoice Of Payment

Jeremy Brevard-USA TODAY Sports

Please forward the following message to your nearest Panthers employee.

It's difficult to be a Carolina Panthers fan. It's really difficult to be an out of state Carolina Panthers fan. It's unbelievably difficult to be an out of state, college student Carolina Panthers fan on a strict budget. Unfortunately, this is the cross I must bear. Because Carolina is a relatively young franchise, it has yet to establish a national appeal. In fact, I am the only Panthers fan that I've found in Austin, Texas.

Game time is usually my one afternoon of solitude, where, as a Panthers fan, I am completely alone. The bar where I watch Panthers games will usually assign a certain number of TV's based on the amount of fans they expect to show up. Out of 35 TV's, the Cowboys always pull in the majority, followed by the Packers, then the Bills, then the Seahawks etc. I enjoy when we play a team with a nationwide fan base because it means I have a better chance of watching the game in a prime location and not next to the bathroom. Against the Bills, I had to take off my Panthers polo to join the patio "Bill's Watch Party." Against the Giants, I was booed for existing. Yesterday, against the Cardinals, I was the only fan who showed up.

The game was delegated to the middle of three TV's on the patio between two showings of the Broncos-Cowboys matchup. Multiple times, people requested that my TV be switched to their game. Each occasion, the waiter would whisper something to them before they turned around to look at me and complain.

"I'm sorry," I would say. "You're right. Yes, I understand. No, I don't know why I want to watch this game either."

Anyways, as I was driving home yesterday, I realized just how much money I have wasted on the Panthers. It's unfortunate. I'd probably snatch up a bigger return if I'd invested with Bernie Madoff. So, I have decided to publicly invoice the Carolina Panthers organization.

***

INVOICE

Customer Copy:

Bill to:

Carolina Panthers
800 South Mint Street
Charlotte, NC 28202

As with any invoice or collection agreement, you have the right to dispute a charge and/or request documentation behind said charges. Failure to compensate will result in further warranted action as deemed necessary under North Carolina Statute 95-25.6 with regards to fair wage payment for NC residents. We thank you in advance for your cooperation.

Date Result Description Unit Price Total Price
Sunday, September 9, 2012 L 10-6 against Tampa Bay

1 Texas Cheeseburger

1 Coke

11.50 11.50
Thursday, September 20, 2012 L 7-36 against NY Giants

1 Enchilada Special

1 Chips & Queso

1 Coke

14.99 14.99
Sunday, September 30, 2012 L 30-28 against Atlanta

1 Enchilada Special

1 Chips & Queso

1 Coke

14.99 14.99
Sunday October 7, 2012 L 12-16 against Seattle

1 Brisket Sandwich

1 Coke

12.99 12.99
Sunday October 28, 2012 L 22-23 against Chicago

1 Texas Cheeseburger

1 Coke

11.50 11.50
Sunday November 11, 2012 L 14-36 against Denver

1 Enchilada Special

1 Chips & Queso

1 Coke

14.99 14.99
Sunday, November 18, 2012 L 21-27 OT against TB

1 Enchilada Special

1 Chips & Queso

1 Coke

14.99 14.99
Sunday December 2, 2012 L 21-27 against Kansas City

1 Texas Cheeseburger

1 Coke

11.50 11.50
Thursday-Saturday April 25-27, 2013 NFL Draft

1 Texas Cheeseburger

1 Pepsi

11.50 11.50
Sunday September 8, 2013 L 7-12 against Seattle

1 Texas Cheeseburger

1 Pepsi

11.50 11.50
Sunday September 15, 2013 L 23-24 against Buffalo

1 Texas Cheeseburger

1 Chips & Queso

1 Pepsi

13.99 13.99
Sunday October 6, 2013 L 6-22 against Arizona

3 Chicken Quesadillas

1 Chips & Queso

1 Pepsi

14.99 14.99
Total: 159.43 159.43

Please understand that any trade or disposal of Cam Newton will result in serious legal action. All checks can be made payable to Curry Shoff.

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