The Simpsons bully Nelson Muntz has apparently taken over as the NFL's new Media VP, and Mr. Muntz has it out for us as Carolina Panthers fans.
Throughout the broadcast of the Panthers Week 17 loss to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, we as already frustrated Carolina fans had to repeatedly endure watching a commercial of Julio Jones torching our team for 300 yards.
In the immortal words of Mr. Muntz:
"HA-HA!"
The Commercial
The infuriating commercial shows the Atlanta Falcons running back Devonta Freeman gaining what appears to be a meaningless four-yard run against the Panthers.
Then the voice of Kendrick Lamar says, "This is a four-yard run. It may not look like much, but it forced Carolina to respect the ground game."
The commercial then showed a cheesy screen shot OF RON RIVERA AND THOMAS DAVIS "RESPECTING" THE FALCONS!
At this point in the commercial, stunned Panthers fans felt their eyelids start to twitch.
Kendrick Lamar then continues to break down how Carolina's safety had to creep up to "respect" the run game which led to "one of the most prolific performances in NFL history" in Julio Jones' 300-yard outburst.
Then, to apparently rub salt in the wounds of already beleagured Panthers fans, this cheesy image appeared:
The commercial ends with Kendrick Lamar talking about how Atlanta's great season "made playoff time in Georgia a little more peachy" and how the Falcons "could be on a Super Bowl run."
At this point, remote controls started being flung through television sets throughout the Carolinas. State militias started to assemble, pitchforks were grabbed, and torches were lit.
How Did This Happen?
Fortunately for the Cat Scratch Reader community, we as hard-hitting journalists obtained secret meeting notes from the planning meeting at NFL headquarters where Nelson Muntz dreamed up this gut-punch ad campaign. (Okay, not really, but play along.)
Here is how the meeting went down.
Nelson Muntz, VP NFL Media: Okay, team, as you know I love to humiliate people then point my finger and yell "ha-ha!" at them. But I get even more pleasure out of humiliating people who are already at their lowest point. You know, rub salt in the wound. So, which NFL fan base is at its lowest right now?"
NFL Lackey #1: "What about Cleveland? The Browns are terrible!"
Nelson Muntz: "Nah, too easy, butt munch."
NFL Lackey #2: "What about the Carolina Panthers? Their fans came into the season thinking they could be headed for another Super Bowl run. But instead, they are going to finish 6-10, Luke Kuechly's season ended with him in sobbing on national television with another concussion, and Cam Newton will go from MVP to having the worst completion percentage in the entire league! Panthers fans are totally frustrated right now!"
Nelson Muntz: "I love it, fart face! Yeah, let's go after Panthers fans. So what's the most embarrassing thing that happened to them this year?"
NFL Lackey #1: "Mike Remmers!"
Nelson Muntz: "Nah, too obscure."
NFL Lackey #2: "How about when Julio Jones torched them for 300 yards in Week 4?"
Nelson Muntz: "Beautiful, stink breath! Nothing like getting humiliated by a division rival. Plus, the loss dropped Carolina to 1-3 and it was after that game most Panthers fans knew their season was over. What a perfect moment to immortalize with a commercial! And to top it off, let's air the commercial DURING A PANTHERS GAME IN WEEK 17! Panthers fans will HATE that! Ha-ha!"
Nelson then concluded the meeting by kneeing Lackey #1 in the groin, dragging him to the bathroom, then giving him a swirlie.
Just Being Salty
If I sound salty, it's because I am.
This season sucked for Panthers fans, and having to watch that commercial made it suck even more.
So thanks for that, NFL!
But Falcons fans, before you get all high and mighty, just think back to 2014. The 6-8-1 Panthers traveled to Atlanta to face the 6-9 Falcons with a playoff berth on the line.
Whoever won went to the postseason. Whoever lost went home.
The Panthers destroyed you 34-3 as you booed your hometown team. Then, at the close of the third quarter with the blowout already over, the following image of Ron Rivera was captured as the broadcast went to commercial:
Now imagine if that moment became the center of a national NFL ad campaign.
In the words of Nelson Muntz:
HA-HA!