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Negative Nelly and Pumped-Up Pete: Predicting the 2014 Carolina Panthers' Season

I recently spent some time interviewing two of my friends, Negative Nelly and Pumped-Up Pete, regarding the upcoming 2014 season for the Carolina Panthers. You don't know them, you say? Yes you do. They live in my head. And they live in yours. The question is, who are you going to believe?

Me: Hi Nelly. Hello Pete. Thanks for taking some time outside of our overflowing brains during Training Camp to get your thoughts on the upcoming season for the Panthers.

First question: How do you see the Panthers faring without #89 on this year's roster?

Nelly: Ohmygosh!! I can't believe we let my baby Steve Smith go!! What are we gonna do without Smitty on the field enforcing his rules and regulations? No Smitty, no offense!

Pete: Smitty was great, but he is in the past now. We now have the Greatest WR Of All Time on the roster. His name is Kelvin Benjamin, and he is the future!! He is going to be even better than Smitty was for us.

Me: Huge turnover in the receiver spots for this year's team. How do you compare this year's pass-catching options with last year's?

Nelly: Ohmygosh!! I can't believe we just let Brandon LaFell and Ted Ginn Jr. walk away with my beloved Smitty! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do???

Pete: Well, we replaced Smitty with the Greatest of All Time. Also, this year's team will sport three pass-catching options at Tight End compared to one on last year's squad. And we added some proven veterans, "Touchdown" Jerrico Cotchery, and "First Down" Jason Avant, to score the ball and move the chains. And don't forget this name: Tavarres King. Our receiving corps will be just fine.

Me: Speaking of turnover, the Offensive Line is also experiencing some turnover with the retirement of Jordan Gross and Travelle Wharton. How do you see the Offensive Line performing this year?

Nelly: Ohmygosh!! I can't believe we didn't draft an Offensive Tackle in this year's draft!! No one can ever replace my beloved Jordan Gross and Travelle Wharton! What are we gonna do???

Pete: Actually, I believe we are going to witness the maturation of "Big Bell" Byron Bell and "Neutron" Nate Chandler as they enter their prime years as effective blockers. Don't forget Amini Silatolu returns from injury. And, did you hear Ryan Kalil praising our new Right Guard, Trai Turner?

The word from Training Camp is that the 2014 Offensive Line is more than holding their own against the league's #2 Defense in practices. We will be just fine!

Me: One more turnover question for you: The secondary. Thoughts?

Nelly: Ohmygosh Ohmygosh!!! Where'd my preacher Mike Mitchell go? Quinton Mikell? Captain, O Captain, come back home to the Carolinas where you belong! (Stops a moment to wipe a tear and blow nose) This secondary is gonna be the worst ever!! What are we gonna do???

Pete: Actually, that's what everyone was saying last year! This year's secondary will be a great mix of youth and experience. Look for youngsters Melvin White and Robert Lester to continue to develop, and benefit from the experience of working with Roman Harper, Antoine Cason, and Thomas Decoud. Charles Godfrey returns from injury. And don't forget the rookie: Bene Benwikere. Get used to hearing that name. He's a baller!!!

Nelly: (Still sniffing...) But Jonathan Stewart got hurt...again. Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh!!!

Pete: Look for J-Stew to get healthy by week 1 and win Comeback Player of the Year award in the NFL this year. You heard it here first!!

Me: What's your take on the Greg Hardy trials?

Nelly: Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh!!! What was he thinking!!! I got four words for that young man: Stu Pid and Dis Traction! November 17 trial date comin' up mid-season. What are we gonna do???

Pete: Look for that trial date to be pushed back when the 2015 trial schedule is announced Nelly. And trust me, I will give you about $40 million reasons why Greg Hardy is going to have a career year this year, and NOT be a distraction to the team at all. He's playing for the money! I agree with your Stu Pid assessment Nel, but I have two words for you: Contract Year!!

Me: One word to sum up the 2014 Carolina Panthers?

Nelly: Ohmygosh!!!!!!

Pete:Winning !!!!!!!!

Me: Any final thoughts?

Nelly: The Carolina Panthers have NEVER posted back to back winning seasons in the history of the team! WE'RE GONNA GO 7-9 OHMYGOSH OHMYGOSH!!!!

Pete: This is the year Nelly!!! The Carolina Panthers will go 13-3 and make the trip west to Super Bowl XLIX!!! Led by Cam Newton, Kelvin Benjamin, Luke Kuechly, Greg Hardy, Thomas Davis and Charles Johnson!!! We will prove you wrong Nelly!!!

So says Pumped-Up Pete. So then, who do you believe???

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