It has been yet another rough week for the Carolina Panthers and their fans. After two brutal losses in a row, all the early season momentum is gone, and there is this widespread feeling of being adrift in a sea of doubt and unknown. The fans aren't sure what to think about any component of the team, and things that used to be strengths are now glaring weaknesses due to injury or attrition.
As if the on field problems weren't enough, the team in general can't seem to get a break off the field either. Wirey uncle turned bitter curmudgeon Steve Smith Sr. has made it his goal to fill the airwaves with comments directed at his former organization. Whether those comments are true or not, it has added yet another distraction to a team that could use some focus right now.
But that wasn't enough either. As if to give the Panthers a final kick in the nuts, Frank Alexander has been suspended another ten games for a violation of the league's substance abuse policy, making this his third overall offense. Fans were hopeful that Alexander would provide a boost to the pass rush with Greg Hardy out indefinitely, and Charles Johnson ailing from a bad hammy. Instead, Frank is doing his best to get himself out of the league in an apparent attempt to go back to school and earn a degree in turf management. It's been awhile since fans have laid eyes on Frank, so here is a recent photo of him to serve as a reminder...
... he's the guy on the left.
ALL of that said, no matter the outlook, the Panthers are currently 2-2 on the season and tied for 1st place in the NFC South, a division very much up for grabs with no clear powerhouse as of yet. A lot of adversity has been thrown their way, but sometimes these moments inspire greatness. A lot of young players will get a chance to play on Sunday against the Bears, and their mettle will be immediately tested. We may yet find something to grab onto and be happy about, so just hang in there Panther fans.
Weekly Specials
Kelvin Benjamin - Heat Rating - Shrimp and cheddar grits, side of collard greens, dinner roll, sweet tea included.
Providing a gleaming beacon of hope even on a bad week, Kelvin Benjamin is the real deal. So good in fact, that we had to give him a whole meal instead of just one item. Like a large tasty bowl of shrimp and grits, KB is a crowd pleaser, and is a fixture on the menu of any good southern football team. I wrote earlier this week about attitude and how it can affect play on the field and Benjamin is the perfect example of that. He knows he is bigger than you, and he will use that advantage and straight up out-power you to get the football. He doesn't mind rubbing it in a bit either... nothing on the level of Agent 89, but I like the swagger he has shown out there. This past week he finally reeled in the first of hopefully many touchdown passes off the arm of Cam Newton. 13+1=6, math hurts.
Hot Plates
Jerricho Cotchery - Heat Rating - General Tso's Chicken, extra spicy
We've all been there. You are about to order from your favorite chinese take-out place, and you are scanning the menu, trying to convince yourself that you should get something you've never tried before. It just all sounds so scary... what if you don't like what you order? It will sit in your fridge congealing until you either get desperate or throw it out. Ultimately, you go with what you know, steady and reliable General Tso's chicken... it just wouldn't be a chinese meal without it. Though he had a quiet preseason, Cotchery has displayed the exact reason that the Panthers brought him in of late... consistency. When other options have been exhausted, Cam is looking for the sure hands of Jerricho, and they are not letting him down. Cotchery caught a particularly well placed ball off of Cam's suddenly plus-accurate arm this past weekend, and turned in a blue collar stat line reflective of a good possession receiver with 5 catches for 80 yards.
Kony Ealy - Heat Rating - Crispy Fried Potato Latkes
The rookie is learning. Trusted CSR player evaluator Hurneynator had this to say about the kid...
Re-watched the game and keyed in on Ealy
Ealy actually impressed me against the Ravens albeit in 21 snaps…he’s improving.
Part man, Part machine......Part Marty Hurney
Well, he better learn faster, because he is going to be an important part of the DE rotation as early as Sunday. Widely regarded as a potential first round pick, Ealy fell into the laps of the Panthers in the late 2nd round. Although he didn't fill a true need at the time, Gettleman and Rivera felt he was a good value pick and foretold that he would get to learn from the best and contribute a bit as a rookie. Since then, the prophecy has been fulfilled, and a boy will become a man in front of a Charlotte audience come Sunday afternoon. It will be a good trial by fire for the talented rookie, but let's hope this is more of a Bar Mitzvah than a Bris.
Cold Salads
Melvin White/Antoine Cason - Heat Rating - Banana Pudding... without Nilla wafers.
The blueprint for beating the Panthers is out there. Short and quick passes that make their below average DBs make a play instead of allowing the front seven to get to the quarterback. Just like banana pudding without vanilla wafers, Cason and White have lacked the flavor they did in the first couple of weeks, and Steve Smith decided to cover them in a huge amount of whipped topping. White's performance was so bad that he has been benched in favor of Josh "PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME" Norman...
Whom we all love and respect, I promise.
Roman Harper - Heat Rating - Skunky cheap beer
In college, one of the fun tricks to play on other bros was to keep a beer or two in your fridge where the can was just slightly open, and retain it for a very long time. Eventually, a bro that you wanted to punk would come over, and you'd say "Hey Bro, can I get you a beer?" and being a bro, you knew he'd respond "Sure bro." at which time you open the beer the rest of the way and bring it to him. It's of course horribly flat and tasteless by this point, and he makes the worst face ever while trying to choke it down. Roman Harper, like the aforementioned beer, is way way way past his prime, and since he was cheap, was never that good to begin with. He got punked yet again by Steve Smith, and others, and has yet to give me a reason why I should call him a Carolina Panther and not an agent sent by the New Orleans Saints to sabotage our team.
Freezer Burned
Charles Johnson - Heat Rating - Grape flavored popsicles, that melted in the car, and refroze in a form that gets your fingers sticky while you try to eat it.
CJ just has not been CJ this year. It could be that he has been fighting a hamstring injury all this time, or it could be something else entirely. All I know is, he is the coldest I have seen him in at least 4 years. It's likely he won't play this week, so we'll keep him frozen for now and hope he can heal and defrost a bit. He didn't even give us a twitter post about getting better this week, which is concerning. Here's hoping one of our franchise's best players will get healthy and snap out of it soon.
The Offensive Line - Heat Rating - That open box of frozen quinoa burgers that your girlfriend ate approximately one of while she was on a health kick, and then left to rot in the back of the freezer.
Your girlfriend wanted to look better in her yoga pants. We know. We love her yoga pants... trust me. But... well... I don't know where I was going with that. Something about Quinoa always being terrible and people not pretending to be vegetarians, and all that noise. The offensive line is just plain bad. Really really bad. Currently, we are tied for the 6th most sacks allowed in the NFL with 10. But hey, at least we aren't Jacksonville, who has given up TWENTY sacks. But just as bad, if not worse, we are 28th in the NFL in rushing yards with 284, and 31st in YPC with 3.1. That... is pathetic. Overall, I'd say we are a dead ringer for one of the worst five lines in the NFL, especially considering we are relatively healthy on that front.
Tater's Gameday Food of the Week
The Panthers play at home this week at one o'clock, which means you'll be looking for some tailgate friendly food. The weather is starting to cool down quite a bit this weekend, so I think it is time to break out something hearty. This favorite also works as a pseudo-breakfast food for those who like to get out really early for tailgate. Not to mention, in the tradition of the SNL skit, "DA BEARS!" it is nice and greasy, but probably worth the heartattack.
Spicy Sausage and Cheese Balls
via foodvee.com
Ingredients
1 lb. NEESE's Hot (Spicy) Breakfast sausage, Highly recommend Neese's if it is available to you.
1 8oz. package of cream cheese, store brand is fine.
2 cups grated SHARP cheddar cheese (mild will get lost amongst the cream cheese)
1.5 cups of Bisquik (you may need more, so keep the box handy)
Additonal Ingredients for those who like REALLY spicy stuff
3 fresh jalapenos, seeded and diced
1/4 cup of your favorite hot sauce (Tabasco Chipotle works very very well)
Preparation
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit
- Dump all ingredients into large mixing bowl
- Wash your hands thoroughly, and then dive in, combining ingredients by hand until well blended
- Roll mixture into balls that are about the size of a ping pong ball
- Arrange on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper (makes for easier cleaning) and bake for about 20 minutes