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CSR 5 WEEKLY RECAP (NSFW)

Whats up dick suckers! Its your commissioner here with another weekly update. This week was disappointing for the majority of teams in the league. Especially you Mighty Melonheads only 66.46 points. Wow that is horrible I know new borns that could do better then that. But its not just you overall as a hole you guys sucked. Which leads me to the lucky bastard of the week.

The lucky bastard of the week this week is Lana...Lana...LANA simply because even though his though his team played like shit he still managed to come out with a W. He just happened to play the pussy bitches of Mighty Melonheads who decided not to show up. Well on to the recaps.

Panthers for Life: 92.92 vs Feel the Bernz: 117.62: You know your team sucks ass when you lose to Bernz. Panthers for life must not have gotten the memo about keeping Bernzie a win virgin. We are all disappointed in you Panthers for life.

Lana...Lana...LANA: 76.96 vs Mighty Melonheads: 66.46: Mighty Melonheads those melons must be covering your vision because I dont know how you dont see that your team is some mashed fuck that just sucks. Congrats to Lana..Lana...LANA for once being lucky and actually winning a game.

Gettlemania: 112.00 vs FightingLebowskis: 80.24: Ladies and gentlemen the king has been dethroned. No longer do we have to suffer through the FightingLebowskis being in first. Also with this win Gettlemania bumped himself up to 3rd place in the standings.

Bill League5 Champ: 99.16 vs THE BLASTERS: 95.70: Steven Ridley is killing Shanks hopes of a championship. I mean how does it feel to lose a close game when one of the opposing players has 0 points? Come on Shank get your act together. Billy can credit this win to Ray Rices injury because without pierce wouldnt have gotten all those points.

DiscoBalls 106.66 vs Catch a Falling Star: 70.48: There is not I in team but there is a t and that t must represent two because DiscoBalls had two players carry his fucking team to victory. Combine Antonio Brown and Peyton Manning had over 67 points. Catch a falling star with a very shitty week lost his undefeated season.

No Punt Intended: 133.26 vs A real panthers fan: 76.84: A real panthers fan continues to disappoint. Im starting to question the owners football knowledge. 0-3 come on not even Bernz is 0-3 I am very disappointed in you arealpanthersfan.

Rag and Brag:


A new addition to our weekly recap will be a rag and brag type thing for the weeks highest scorer. If you are the highest scorer and would like to submit your ragging and bragging you have to email me it before Wednesday night.

So here I go:

Listen up fuckers this week was absolutely pathetic. I mean only fucking 1/3 of our league hit the 100 point mark. What the hell. I though the people in this league knew football! If you fuckers knew football you might just hit 100 points next time.

Another fucking stupid thing is that team with fucking 76.96 points won a game. I mean come A real panthers fan whose team sucks ass almost beat that. That's fucking ridiculous. I am disappointed in you Mighty Melonheads for allowing that to happen.

Not only did I score the most points this week but I also moved up to number 1 in that standings. I am your supreme overlord. You will do as I say or else you will feel my wrath. Well each team will feel my wrath anyway when I play them. I feel bad for the teams in my division; they have to play me twice!

The length of the rag and brag is up to the winner. I would write more but I gotta do some work.

Rec this post so it can be used for longer time.


And fuckers lets get some shit stirred up so far its been very disappointing!

LET THE SMACK TALK BEGIN!


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