Roger Goodell wants the NFL to go global, while team owners are broadening their horizons. The Glazers own Machester United as well as Tampa Bay, Robert Kraft almost added Liverpool to his team ownership of the Patriots, Stan Kroenke owns Arsenal and now Jacksonville owner Shad Khan is closing in on a deal for Fulham. Jerry Richardson's astute business eye is ever cast for new opportunities, and it's time to find him a British soccer team.
Jerry's a shrewd businessman, and wouldn't pony up hundreds-of-millions for a premiership team. We need to find him a small club on the up-and-up. Somewhere with a working class background, where people pull themselves up by the boot straps.
A small town in Yorkshire, this is the perfect place for Jerry to make his mark. Best known for their gravy-soaked puddings and terriers, this region is ideal for Richardson to thrive, and undoubtedly appeals to his sensibilities as a man who likes gravy and terriers.
Downtown Hudderfield is positively booming, according to their Wikipedia page:
"Fast food outlets include Burger King, KFC, McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Subway, Wimpy and Nando's."
I don't see a Hardees, Bojangles, or Dennys listed here...
We've established that Huddersfield, a town best known for its trash incinerator, is the perfect place for Jerry Richardson to make his mark. Now we need to work on how to get him ownership. Based on the latest finanical figures, the club is worth negative 22 million pounds. Yes, Huddersfield FC make no money. This is okay, just a minor set back.
Sure, they have less cash in the bank that Haruki Nakamura makes in the year, but this is precisely why Richardson needs to step in. Lets face it: Nobody really knows what Jerry will do with the state's tax revenue, so surely he could sock $30 million of it aside and buy an entire soccer team. After all, what's one extra escalator at BoA really going to be worth?
DID I MENTION THE TEAM IS NAMED THE TERRIERS?
Tell me that dog doesn't look like Richardson. Perched above his club, ready to pounce. From Wafford to Huddersfield, the sun will never set on JR's empire... which is a shame because he does enjoy a good nap. The Terriers represent the perfect opportunity to expand his reach and teams England what riding a golf cart is all about.
THEIR TEAM SONG IS TITLED "SMILE A WHILE"
There's a team that is dear to its followers
Their colours are bright blue and white,
They're a team of renown, the pride of the town,
And the game of football is their delight
All the while, upon the field of play,
Thousands loudly cheer them on their way.
Often you can hear them say,
Who can beat the Town today?
Then the bells will ring so merrily
Every goal, shall be a memory
So Town play up, and bring the cup
Back to Huddersfield
THE FINAL PITCH
Working class town? Check.
Admiration of fast food, but no Bojangles? Check.
Terrier-related nickname? Check.
There's 176,000 people in Hudderfield waiting to become Carolina Panthers fans, and millions in North Carolina needing an English team to get behind. Steve Smith loves soccer, and while Jerry Richardson probably doesn't know what soccer is -- but that's okay, he'll learn. The wine and cheese set in Charlotte could learn from Huddersfield's enthusiasm, and it's all win-win.