2013 NFL Mock Draft: The Great Food Mock


The CSR Editorial Staff decided to take a break from fighting over who the Panthers are going to pick, and in that break came up with a mock draft where each NFL team drafted food related items. What you're about to read is the result of our madness.

Note: this mock draft was a collaborative effort by the CSR Editorial Staff.

Are you tired of mock drafts? We are too. That's why we decided to cure the boredom of the same old/same old and give you a mock draft like no other. That's right - we're drafting food.

We thought it would be a good idea to answer the question "If the NFL Draft were about picking food instead of players, what would each team pick?", and we've decided to share our thoughts with all of you.

But enough rambling, let's get on with it - shall we?

The Great NFL Food Mock Draft

1. Kansas City: Barbecue. They want to wait until the 2nd round, but it's impossible to imagine it will last past Tennesee and Carolina.

2. Jacksonville: That grilled cheese sandwich with the Virgin Mary's face on it, because Tebow.

3. Oakland: A Quesadilla filled with cigarette butts, velveeta, and tears.

4. Philadelphia: Cheesesteak. You gotta problem with that?!

5. Detroit: Prison cafeteria food.

6. Cleveland: A roast beef sandwich bought in a truck stop vending machine.

7. Arizona: A 12 pack of Arizona Iced Tea.

8. Buffalo: Wings...that was easy.

9. New York Jets: NY style pizza.

10. Tennessee: A bottle of Jack Daniels Whiskey. It even says Tennessee on the bottle.

11. San Diego: A gas station sushi platter.

12. Miami: The newest hip restaurant everyone is bored of in three weeks.

13. New York Jets: Sabrett hot dogs (with the plan to draft a hot dog cart in the 5th round).

14. Carolina: Without BBQ on the board, they struggle to make a pick. Ultimately they select shrimp and grits (repping SC of course).

15. New Orleans: That weird bread/cake with glitter and shit on it.

16. St. Louis: A half-eaten fried calf brain sandwich. Can you say yummy?

17. Pittsburgh: Pierogis.

18. Dallas: The biggest, flashiest steak you've ever seen. It's full of gristle and covered in A1.

19. New York Giants: The Jets stole everything...assholes. Pastrami on rye, we guess.

20. Chicago: Chicago style pizza. (Deep dish, baby!)

21. Cincinnati: That chili thing with spaghetti and cinnamon in it. Also, it's full of red hair.

22. St. Louis: What the F%&# else do they eat in St. Louis?

23. Minnesota: They'll wait until the second to get their rotten fish nobody else wants. Instead they take...I dunno, salmon?

24. Indianapolis: Wikipedia tells us it's Sugar Cream Pie.

25. Minnesota: F%&#...it's Minnesota again. Umm, I guess a sourdough bread bowl full of boxed wine sounds good.

26. Green Bay: A fondue pot full of cheddar.

27. Houston: Angry that Dallas took the biggest steak, the Texans settle for brisket.

28. Denver: Deep Fried Rocky Mountain Oysters. (They taste like chicken.)

29. New England: Clam chowdah!

30. Atlanta: While being tempted to reach for Chick-Fil-A, they decided to make the smart pick and go with chicken and waffles.

31. San Francisco: While In-N-Out was a tempting choice, they took the safe route and went with a mission style burrito.

32. Baltimore: Crab cakes. Really, what else is there for them to pick?

Well, there you have it folks - The Great NFL Food Mock Draft. We think we did a pretty good job, but what do you think? Tell us how we did in the comment section!

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