This is a work of parody, and only because we love ESPN's 'Sport Science' so.
Welcome back to Weird Sport Science, where we put the science back into sport. Today we look at Georgia defensive tackle John Jenkins.
Macho Man Randy Savage said you could find him 'South of Saturn and North of Hell' -- somewhere in the vicinity you'd find John Jenkins. This big time defensive tackle has some big time ability, and figures to be one of the first DTs taken this weekend.
Weighing in at a giant 346-lbs, he's almost as big as TWO Wes Welkers! Not impressive enough? If his weight were in ounces, and those ounces were feet -- he'd be taller than the Empire State building! Still not wowed? If Jenkins was in the metric system, he'd weigh 156,000,000 milligrams. If those milligrams were fathoms, Jules Verne wouldn't need to be forty leagues under the sea -- he'd be forty leagues into the moon!
With that kind of impressive size it would be easy to overlook how light he is on his feet. At the combine, Jenkins ran the 40-yard dash in 5.23 seconds. That's a full four seconds faster than a Vespa can hit 60 miles per hour! Oh, and with that weight... it would take FIVE Vespas to tow Jenkins. Provided he was sitting on a skateboard, or wearing rollerskates.
His 30 reps at the combine showed some big-time strength. Lifting a total of 6,750 pounds -- he pushed out 36.48 Wes Welkers in a minute. If each of those Welkers was a gallon of ice cream, you'd fill a standard bathtub. Just don't expect John Jenkins to fit in it.
The big man from Meridian, CT traveled a long road to go to college in Athens, GA -- 919 miles in fact. That's almost 1/15th what Forrest Gump ran!
Now you know a little bit more about the Big Dawg on campus! This is James Dator for Weird Sports Science, until next time.