Jaxon's 1st Round WTF Mock Draft

USA TODAY Sports

Hat tip to James Dator and his Dumpster Fire mock draft that was the inspiration for this post. Whereas James laid out a worst case scenario for the Panthers I in turn lay out a What the Fudge draft pick for the entire first round.

Who better to start it off than the King of WTF draft moves the KC Chiefs. See if you can detect a little sarcasm in this post ;)

Pick

Team

Player

Comment

1

Chiefs

QB Geno Smith

Any team dim enough to trade two 2nd round picks for Alex Smith is certainly capable of then adding a #1 overall QB with just the opposite skill set to compete with said vet QB

2

Jaguars

RB Eddie Lacy

With Gabbert at QB what the Jags need is another RB so they can run the ball even more. Pocket Hercules meet Lunch Pail Hercules

3

Raiders

WR Marguis Goodwin

Because he was the fastest player at the combine...Duh!

4

Eagles

CB Dee Milliner

If Aso doesn't take a pay cut then we have a plug and play replacement

5

Lions

DT Star Lotulelei

What a rotation with Suh, Fairley and now Lotelelei

6

Browns

LT Luke Joeckel

Weeden is going to need a lot of quality linemen to give him enough time to deploy Chud's vertical passing...now if only they could draft Weeden a new arm

7

Cardinals

WR Keenan Allen

Kolb to Keenen FTW...it could happen!

8

Bills

DT Shariff Floyd

Former Gators love to play in the snow

9

Jets

LB Kevin Minter

Since everyone is mocking him to the Ravens Ol Rexy can't stand it

10

Titans

WR Cordarelle Patterson

Goes from one Tennessee to another and is a big help to Chris Johnson in no way at all

11

Chargers

OG Jonathan Cooper

I'm hoping putting a UNC guy in front of Rivers makes him whine even more

12

Dolphins

DE Dion Jordan

Jordan wins the ‘Moved farthest from home' award

13

Buccaneers

DE Bjoern Werner

Just in case Bowers hires a really bad attorney...you know, a Clemson grad

14

Panthers

QB EJ Manual

We need a back-up QB in the mold of our #1 guy

15

Saints

TE Zack Ertz

Brees needs more targets

16

Rams

CB Tyrann Mathieu

Janoris Jenkins worked out so far so we can pair these two together and see who gets arrested first

17

Steelers

OG Chance Warmack

Now they have back to back ‘Once in a generation' OGs

18

Cowboys

LT Eric Fisher

They realize LT Tyron Smith is over-rated

19

Giants

DT Jonathan Hankins

They love big fatties in the middle

20

Bears

LT Lane Johnson

This is actually a great pick for the Bears but it will never happen so suck it Bears fans!

21

Bengals

DT Sheldon Richardson

I don't think Geno Atkins will mind if a rookie DT makes more $ than he does

22

Rams (from Wash)

QB Matt Barkley

They like young QBs coming off injury

23

Vikings

RR DJ Fluker

AP meet DJ

24

Colts

WR DaRick Rodgers

DaRick meets the squeaky clean DaNeckbeard

25

Seahawks

QB Mike Glennon

A QB has to be at least 6'4" to be successful in the NFL

26

Packers

DT John Jenkins

He's a better dancer than Raji

27

Texans

LB Jarvis Jones

Fits the Texans long hair requirement for LBs

28

Broncos

DE Ziggy Ansah

They are just not deep enough in edge rushers

29

Patriots

LB Manti Teo

He fits Billichick's ‘honest Abe' persona

30

Falcons

S Bacarri Rambo

Just cause I'm hoping after Rambo picks off Ryan a few times in practice it makes Ryan cry

31

49ers

WR Justin Hunter

They need to get tougher at WR

32

Ravens

LB Alex Ogletree

His off the field image fits the Ravens

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