NFL Week 5 Fantasy football Smack Talk Thread

Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

In this week's edition of smack talk I teach you how to talk smack when you lose.

Yes, its true, I lost in CSR 1 and have fallen to 3-2. I would love to congratulate Bricks (Crawford) for the victory but the fact is...he got lucky and Yahoo Sports agrees with me:

Bricks Gets Late Shocker Against Cardiac Cats, Rises to Second Place

Bricks (4-1, 482.42 points) beat Cardiac Cats (3-2, 544.72 points) 109.90 - 97.34, led by Russell Wilson with 26.60 points and the Arizona Cardinals Defense who had 24.00. Bricks took the early lead, up 57.80 - 31.00 after the first set of Sunday games. The tide turned in favor of Cardiac Cats by a 0.54-point margin following the Sunday night game. Bricks closed it out with a comeback on Monday night, thanks to 17.80 points from Jacquizz Rodgers.

He had to rely on a lame Falcon to have a career game to bail him out of a sure loss! See that's what it takes to beat Jaxon's Cardiac Cats, ...a 100 year flood, a 70 year comet or a once in a generation 6 toed cat! Absolute sheer, by the Football Gods luck.

Want to know what is even worse? This:

Smooth Moves by Bricks

- Picked up the Arizona Cardinals Defense, which beat their scoring projection by 183.4%, which was the highest percentage among the two teams.

That's right! He purposely played the AZ defense against our own Panthers, essentially sold his soul to the devil simply for a cheap fantasy victory over me. I draw the worst out of Panther fans I do believe.

I may be down Panther fans but the Cardiac Cats are not out and they will renew the good fight against oppression and cheap beer next week. As I rise up and brush myself off I take solace in these irrefutable, slap your Momma in the face facts:

What If

- Bricks would be 2-3 if they played Cardiac Cats every week.

- If they played the same schedule as Cardiac Cats, Bricks would be 2-2.

In CSR 13 my Hog Mollies also improved to 3-2 after 'laying waste' (Yahoo's words not mine) to 4th and Long (and zero chance).

Hog Mollies Tramples 4th & Long for Third Consecutive Win

Hog Mollies earned their third win in as many matchups when they laid waste to 4th & Long 96.52 - 61.22. They were led by Drew Brees who had 23.52 points and the Kansas City Chiefs Defense who had 16.00. The streak, which has been a real boost for Hog Mollies, has allowed them to move up from 11th place in Week 3 to sixth place now. They're doing it by scoring a lot of points and they own the fourth-highest overall point total in the league, averaging 106.12 points per matchup. Adding insult to injury, 4th & Long had two starters score zero points (Darren McFadden and Kyle Rudolph). 4th & Long goes to 2-3 and falls to 10th place. Hog Mollies has now beaten Montucky Marauders (89.48 - 87.60) and Macz Catz (134.12 - 107.68).

This make me think of a song:

Well we're movin on up,
To the east side.
To a deluxe apartment in the sky.
Movin on up,
To the east side.

We finally got a piece of the pie!

Not stopping at 6th place, I'm going to be the first to win two CSR leagues in the same year!

If you have some smack talk that needs to be said feel free to use this comment thread!

This is Now an Open Smack Talk Thread!

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