There comes a time in a man's life where he takes stock in his life.
What has he accomplished?
Who has he become?
Did he grow into the man he wanted to be as a child, or just an old child?
Today is not the time I am asking these questions, today I am asking "Who is next to fall at the feet of Oi?"
(I did a Google search of feet to add a picture here, bad call)
While this season has seen it's share of elite teams hold on to the top 4 spots, all those teams have shown enough weakness that a mid-season shake up is not out of the question. No one has been assured a playoff spot yet, and god knows one of the bumbling ass-clown teams can ruin a late season playoff run for one of the middling guys. All the games are important. Even if you are already out of contention, you can still ruin someone else's season with a meaningless win. So buck up little campers, all of you are still important, even if it is just because you are the drunken cock blocker of fantasy football.
OMG I'm Gonna Cam busted one out in Goodell Can't Lose's end zone. 126.9 to 112.34 (this was the narrowest margin of victory of the week, blow outs to come)
Thor's Hammer proved Marvel will always be superior to DC against Kuechly is Beastly 107.84 to 69.94 (the most disappointing 69 ever)
Joe Buck Yourself won the equivalent of the MRSA bowl against Queen City Katz 85.34 to 62.28 (You're both just turrible)
Gross Miscalculation earned the right to bitch about the waiver wire for another week knocking Monster Energy down a peg 115.36 to 89.42 (I hope you both still got fucked on waivers)
Finally Release the Kraken played any other team in the NFL to Sippin' Ginn and Juice's Jaguars 90.60 to 70.26 (I would rather look at those Google feet than this game)
And now for something completely different...
In a change to the schedule, this week won’t be a pathetic effort. Instead at this point in the season heading into week nine I thought I’d compare our fantasy teams to their real life equivalent. Following me? I understand this is probably a difficult concept for you Americans to understand but I’m sure you’ll pick it up. This week Division 1 and Division 3.
Jim Skipper: Denver Broncos
An awesome if not aging QB surrounded by awesome WR’s made the bronco’s the choice for me. I don’t quite have the record but this team lives and dies by their passing game with serious question marks at RB.
OHMYGODIMGONNACAM: Green Bay Packers
A great QB and a great WR are keeping this team alive, refusing to go away even when everyone else wants them too. A fairly dependable running back combined with an annoying sense of entitlement complete the comparison.
Release the Kraken: Carolina Panthers
On a run of three straight wins? Check. Deemed to have had a decent draft? Check. Fell flat on their face to start with? I’m seeing a theme here. Want more proof then look at Mikes tricky schedule coming up in the next few… ah ok, so maybe they aint an exact replica of the Panthers but close enough.
Gross Miscalculation: New Orleans Saints
Well Yes BBA is from New Orleans but the similarities between his ‘home team’ and fantasy team are there. Great QB play making up for only decent WRs, but having a stellar TE always helps. BBA has also had a fairly decent DEF and looks to make a deep run into the playoffs.
Queen City Catz: Arizona Cardinals
Great DEF combined with a really up and down season so far, including taking some scalps over teams many consider better. Queen City Katz, despite the annoying ‘z’ is not a team to be overlooked. A solid team, but doubtful to make a run at the playoffs unless results go their way.
Keuchly is Beastly: Atlanta Falcons
A team that thinks it’s awesome but in actuality is pretty rubbish. A good QB and Harry Douglas also help the comparison somewhat. There’s also the matter of the ‘star’ running back that’s been a big disappointment and struggled with injuries a little. A team with ideas above their station.
Right, that it for me. I’m sure you’ll all agree with my assessments of your teams performances so far, stay tuned for divisions 2 and 4 next week.
Who loves ya baby?
That's all for now, bitches.