Predicting the new owner of the Carolina Panthers

Streeter Lecka

We may not know who will take the helm, but we can make some educated guesses.

Reports of Jerry Richardson's succession plan shocked Carolina Panthers' fans with the revelation that his estate will be ordered to sell the team two years after his death. Here at CSR we're using some educated guess work, and some snooping to try and predict who the new owner will be.

Michael Jordan

The league's first dual-owner. MJ will use his business acumen, and astounding talent evaluation to take the reigns of the Carolina Panthers. Installing new general manager, Patrick Ewing, the team will usher in a new era of 'gut feelings' and 'hunches'.

It might feel like there are a lot of pitfalls, but the chance to get a football iteration of 'Space Jam' starring Cam Newton outweighs any, and all risks.

Kwame Brown 4 tight end 2015.

Note: It's been made clear to me that Tom Benson is the league's first dual-owner -- but if you acknowledge the New Orleans Saints and Hornets you're letting the communists win.

Note addendum: Okay -- so there are a ton of dual, and some even triple owners. Thank you for your fact-checking.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Tired of the wild inconsistencies of the Jerry Richardson era, junior will put his personal stamp on the organization. Experiencing multiple 0-16 seasons in a row might be a let down, but at least we know what we're getting.

Okay, maybe we'll get a win every three years or so.

The Dawson's Creek ownership syndicate

Returning triumphantly to North Carolina, James Van Der Beek, Katie Holmes, and Joshua Jackson take the reigns and bring the Panthers back into the glory days of the late 90's.

The NFL's first ownership triumvirate, it's the perfect solution for Jackson post-Fringe, Holmes post-Cruise, and Van Der Beek post-whatever-show-he's-in-that's-about-to-get-cancelled.

I don't wanna wait for this new era to begin!

George Shinn

It's time to make amends, and Georgie is back! Excited about the prospect of working with the Top Cats, he'll bring a new vision for the franchise -- one that involve a relocation to Moose Jaw, Canada.

Stephen Colbert

Because that would be f-ing awesome.

Ric Flair

This is one of those moves that just makes sense. Okay, so maybe he'll need to partner with someone with extra funds -- but the idea of Flair hitting the field to 'Pomp and Circumstance' far outweighs anything Sir Purr could do.

"HERE COMES ARN ANDERSON WITH A CHAIR!"

Brooklyn Decker

A personal favorite, who better than Decker to lead team? Move from terse Southern gent, to unabashed fan... it's perfect. Plus, Andy Roddick has plenty of tennis rackets to work on tipped pass drills.

Krispy Kreme

Oakland can keep their black hole, we'll have the doughnut hole! Trading wine and cheese for original glazed and coffee, the alluring aroma of the stadium will be enough to lull opposition into a false sense of security.

Finally the Panthers have a much-needed team chant:

"Who's hot now?! THE CAROLINA PANTHERS!

gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble"

Special thanks to the CSR Editors for their additions.

Who would you like to see buy the Panthers?

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