April 1st, 2012

Cat Scratch Readers undercover division has obtained never before released court documents that might better explain former Panther DE Julius Peppers reasons for leaving his native homeland. At the root of his uprooting was those pesky stalker Jet Skis he mentioned in one of his departing interviews. We kind of laughed it off here at CSR and figured it was more about money and his inflated sense of self worth. No as it turns out the jet skis are to blame.

Attorneys filed papers for Peppers asking for a restricted zone to be set up at 300 yards off of his lakeside property. CSR has obtained a copy of the proposed 'No Paparazzi Jet Ski zone' on Lake Norman surrounding Peppers property...after the jump...

Here is the zone being requested by Peppers through his attorneys:

When informed the people were not members of the media but were instead the absolute most loyal Panthers fans Peppers said "Well maybe, but only by a little bit'.

Apparently Peppers initial request for a re-zoning was rejected and so he filed an appeal based on the following:

"The area surrounding Peppers property is a fertile yellow-bellied bream spawning ground".

Who would have guessed? Amazingly the court decided to hear his case. After a 3 month waiting period Peppers big day in court arrived...

and Peppers didn't show up.

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In case you missed the 2005 Peppers - Kardashian sex tape the link is here.