I'm sorry Toby Keith.
I'm sorry Teddy Roosevelt.
I'm sorry Jesus.
America lost today.
A Brit (not Daniel) and an Indian (not feather topped) will be playing for the CSR 2 National World Championship.
Somehow, America's Best (me) and it's half retarded stepson (Queen City Katz) were defeated by Limey and Out of Bounds. The American race (McFarland borrows jokes, so can I) has let down the God of Football and Abraham, and I'm sorry.
I can only assume that Lawrence Tynes was up all Saturday night settling a billing dispute with Out Of Bounds' cousin. How the fuck else do you miss your only fucking Field Goal from less than 40 yards and not be named Olindo Mare? While The Crazy 88's put up a valiant effort, they were bested by the swarthy Out of Bounds 93.34 to 134.22
When I think of all the hard work I put into this season, I cannot help but feel sickened by how bad Queen City Katz is at fantasy football. Seriously dipshit, you had one job all week. Beat Limey. But no. You probably spent Sunday jerking off into your Monday socks instead of defending our nations honor. You sicken me QCK. If I didn't have to invite you back next year I would travel thru time and convince your mom that Roe v Wade was an obligation, not a choice. Los Papel Tigres won this heartbreaker 131.88 to 66.54
So the Championship of America's game falls into the hands of not Americans (Seriously Dipen, where the fuck do you live? You know what? Doesn't matter. Jingoism does not give a pigeon queef.)
You can all go to hell.