Coming this October, to a stadium near you.
8 months ago
Tater596
144 comments
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Comments
It rubs the grass on it’s skin and it does this whenever it is told.
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
by ERL on Sep 29, 2011 3:21 PM EDT reply actions 3 recs
Dammit you beat me to it.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Or else it gets the sack again!
Newton for '11 ROY!
Walker for '11 ROY!
Biyombo for '11 DPOY!
by Newsinz on Sep 29, 2011 3:40 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
That's what she said...
Rocking the boat and righting the ship! Making the moves needed...Go Panthers!!!
Tater this is amazing.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Awesome job Tater!
"Keep Pounding" -Sam Mills
Follow me on Twitter
by ALAC on Sep 29, 2011 3:37 PM EDT via mobile reply actions
The Kraken packed Jay Cutler a sack lunch
Nyum nyum nyum nyum.
by Swamp Panther on Sep 29, 2011 3:42 PM EDT via mobile up reply actions
Groan...
Anyone got a tomato?
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 3:49 PM EDT up reply actions
Dr. Lecter approves...

The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
I thought about putting the mask on Hardy
But i didn’t want to conceal that facial expression
This comment section has officially been Tater'd.
Good call.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Overheard Sunday...
Charles Johnson: A quarterback once tried to evade me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
Greg Hardy: It puts the lotion on it’s skin.
The rest of CJ's statement...
“…cause I can afford Chianti now. I’m Big Money, bitches.”
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
by BW Smith on Sep 29, 2011 3:50 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
Well. Damn. Done.
We should have our graphic guy get a hold of your graphic guy…
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 3:49 PM EDT reply actions
Sounds good. Have his people call my people.
We’ll do lunch.
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I'm still your agent, right?
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Pretty sure you gots furred.
I don't always fail, but when I do...
I do it awesomely.
by BusyBeingAwesome on Sep 29, 2011 4:09 PM EDT up reply actions
Wait, BW's a furry?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 4:11 PM EDT up reply actions
Insert obligatory Bob Saget furry photo here...
by James Dator on Sep 29, 2011 4:14 PM EDT up reply actions 2 recs
Love that there's a bottle of motion lotion on the nightstand.
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
me too
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
That's actually BW passed out in the bed.
I don't always fail, but when I do...
I do it awesomely.
by BusyBeingAwesome on Sep 29, 2011 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
I told you that in confidence.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Ooopth.
Mah bad.
I don't always fail, but when I do...
I do it awesomely.
by BusyBeingAwesome on Sep 29, 2011 4:21 PM EDT up reply actions
Now THIS is a Furrey.

Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 4:16 PM EDT up reply actions
Talk about one hit wonders…
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
No thanks, I had enough of Lifehouse eight years ago.
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 4:20 PM EDT up reply actions
Hey now...they had two good songs.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Damned if I ever knew they even DID two songs.
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 4:35 PM EDT up reply actions
TWSS?
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 4:19 PM EDT up reply actions
that's what i was thinking
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Well don’t worry. He will leave in a heartbeat the minute he sees all the fines you charge us BW.
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
They're not fines...they're dues. Huge difference.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Fines, dues, reparations, extortion, blackmail… eh its all the same right?
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
No, they're all different.
They each go into a different account.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
and then he'll come back for the cheerleaders
What they didn’t tell you about the Cheerleader post: only the first hit is free
I'm just lulling you all into a false sense of security that I'm actually a friend...
Then when no one’s expecting it, THAT’s when I’ll strike! Mwahahahaha!
Erm…
Um…
You see nothing.
Weekend contributor and official editorial lackey/waitstaff at Windy City Gridiron
If a people-avoiding gaming hermit is on Twitter, I should be too. Follow me!
by Steven Schweickert on Sep 29, 2011 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions
Indeed.
Bringing the term ‘bumping fuzzies’ to a whole new level.
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
I think it was just a big misunderstanding.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
We're taking a break
We both need to grow apart so we can grow together.
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We don't need a break.
You can have all the BoBerries I don’t get for you in negotiations…I promise.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Of course Tater....You...complete....me.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Speaking of awkward...
I don't always fail, but when I do...
I do it awesomely.
by BusyBeingAwesome on Sep 29, 2011 4:23 PM EDT up reply actions
Alright. You're still my agent.
Let’s not fight anymore, not in front of the children.
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That's probably best for the family...
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
TWHS:

"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
Does that translate to "That's what the horse said?"

Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
Silly CSR readers...
Horses can’t talk… unless…..
ERL get the fishing line!
Ivan, fetch the peanut butter!
“COMING SOON TO NBC- JOHN ELWAY IS….. MR ED”
by James Dator on Sep 29, 2011 4:33 PM EDT up reply actions 4 recs
You betcha.
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
lol
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
The Silence of the Bears
BAMF: I will listen now. After your knee’s murder, you were on the bench. You were 27 years old. You went to sit with benchwarmers on a bench on the sidelines in Chicago. And…?
Cutler: [tears begin forming in his eyes] And one evening, I just ran away.
BAMF: No “just”, Cutler. What set you off? You started at what time?
Cutler: Early, before dark.
BAMF: Then something woke you, didn’t it? Was it a dream? What was it?
Cutler: I heard a strange noise.
BAMF: What was it?
Cutler: It was… screaming. Some kind of screaming, like a child’s voice.
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future and common sense is knowing you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques
I don't always dress like a pirate...but when I do, I do it in this picture.
by Vagus on Sep 29, 2011 4:18 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
I think you found someone to write the script, Tater.
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
This
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
BAMF: First principles, Jay. Simplicity. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing ask: what is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this man you seek?
Cutler: He sacks quarterbacks…
BAMF: No. That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What needs does he serve by getting sacks?
Cutler: Anger, um, popularity, and, huh, hatred of quarterbacks, sir…
BAMF: No! He covets. That is his nature. And how do we begin to covet, Jay? Do we seek out things to covet? Make an effort to answer now.
Cutler: No. We just…
BAMF: No. We begin by coveting what we see every day. Don’t you feel his eyes moving over your body, Jay? And don’t your eyes seek out the things you want?
by James Dator on Sep 29, 2011 4:25 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
Well played sir, well played
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future and common sense is knowing you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques
I don't always dress like a pirate...but when I do, I do it in this picture.
JR: “Soldier Field, Chicago Illinois.” Sounds charming.
Angelo: That’s only a part of the island. There’s a very, very nice grassy field. Playmakers nest there. There’s beautiful…
JR: [cuts him off] Playmakers? Mmh. If I help you, Angelo, there will be “playmakers” for us too. Quid pro quo. You trade me things, I trade you things. Not about this case, though. About Olsen. Quid pro quo. Yes or no?
[pause]
JR: Yes or no, Angelo? Poor little Greg is waiting.
Lovie: Go, doctor.
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(continued)
BAMF: What did you do?
Cutler: I went to the sideline. I crept up into the coach. I was so scared to look, but I had to.
BAMF: And what did you see, Cutler? What did you see?
Cutler: Bears fans. The fans were screaming.
BAMF: They were slaughtering the playoff Bears?
Cutler: And they were screaming.
BAMF: And you ran away?
Cutler: No. First I tried to help them. I… I threw the balls to our receivers, but they wouldn’t catch. They just stood there, confused. They wouldn’t run.
BAMF: But you could and you did, didn’t you?
Cutler: Yes. I ran away as fast as I could…
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future and common sense is knowing you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques
I don't always dress like a pirate...but when I do, I do it in this picture.
by Vagus on Sep 29, 2011 4:23 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs
LOL
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
*supposed to be coaches box...oh well - no edit button
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future and common sense is knowing you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques
I don't always dress like a pirate...but when I do, I do it in this picture.
It's funnier as is...
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
LMFAO!!
Actually… sounds like something Romo would have said Monday night.
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LOL
And he could crawl up into Rob Ryan and hide if he really wanted to.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
by BW Smith on Sep 29, 2011 4:26 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
+1
You get what you put in and people get what they deserve.
by Disciple of Carolina on Sep 30, 2011 1:51 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions
I can't help but play Vagus
Sir Purr: It rubs the grass stains on its skin. It does this whenever it is told.
Cutler: Mister… my Jerry Angelo will pay cash. Whatever ransom you’re askin’ for, he’ll pay it.
Sir Purr: It rubs the grass stains on its skin or else it gets the Kraken again.
(to CJ)
Sir Purr: Yes, it will, Big Money, won’t it? It will get the Kraken!
Cutler: Okay… okay… okay. Mister, if you let me go, I won’t – I won’t play football again I promise. See, Jerry Angelo is a real important guy… I guess you already know that.
Sir Purr: Now it places the football in the basket.
Cutler: Please! Please I wanna go home! I wanna go home please!
Sir Purr: It places the football in the basket.
Cutler: I wanna see my GM! Please I wanna see my…
Sir Purr: Put the freaking football in the basket!
by James Dator on Sep 29, 2011 4:32 PM EDT reply actions 4 recs
Alright Vagus... this is becoming addicting
The Kraken: If you didn’t sack him, then who did, sir?
Big Money: Who can say. Best thing for him, really. His receivers were going nowhere.
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I KNOW!
Kraken: (looking at game photos) Did you get all these sacks, CJ?
Big Money: Ah. That is Matt Ryan seen after he defecated on himself. Do you know Flacco?
Kraken: All that detail just from memory, sir?
Big Money: Memory, Young Hardy, is what I have instead of a view.
Just warms the cockles of my heart...
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future and common sense is knowing you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques
I don't always dress like a pirate...but when I do, I do it in this picture.
Kraken, after sacking Cutler: I can smell your cunt.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
by BW Smith on Sep 29, 2011 4:50 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
LOL
CJ: I, however, cannot. But you wear Cotex and women’s suave…but not today.
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
BAMF: Tell me, Coach: did you train the O-Line yourself?
Lovie Smith: What?
BAMF: Did you spoon-feed them?
Jerry Angelo: Now wait a minute…
Lovie Smith: Yes, I did.
BAMF: Toughened your Quarterback, didn’t it?
Jerry Angelo: You son of a bitch!
BAMF: Amputate a man’s leg and he can still feel it tickling. Tell me, Lovie, when your little Quarterback is on the ground, where will it tickle you?
Lovie Smith: Take this… thing back to Charlotte!
BAMF: Six foot three, scrawnily built, about two hundred and twenty pounds; hair brown, eyes pale blue. He’d be about twenty-eight now. He said he lived in Denver, but he may have lied. That’s all I can remember, Lovie, but if I think of any more, I will let you know. Oh, and Coach, just one more thing: love your suit!
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*sniff* I'm so proud...
:-D
Maturity is knowing you were an idiot in the past. Wisdom is knowing you will be an idiot in the future and common sense is knowing you should try not to be an idiot now. - J. Jacques
I don't always dress like a pirate...but when I do, I do it in this picture.
x

“I’d f@ck me…I’d f@ck me so hard…
"We're no strangers to love. You know the rules and so do I. A full commitment's what I'm thinking of. You wouldn't get this from any other guy. I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling. Gotta make you understand."
x
Steve Smith: I’d f@ck you too….wait, I already did once.

The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
by BW Smith on Sep 29, 2011 4:56 PM EDT up reply actions 3 recs
LOL
Well played. That is an adequate response.
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme

This has been a public service announcement.......
by CaptainPanther on Sep 29, 2011 8:30 PM EDT up reply actions
BAMF: Now then, tell me. What did Kraken say to you? The Kraken in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?
Cutler: He said, “I can smell your c*nt.”
BAMF: I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear Sex Panther, but not today.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
by BW Smith on Sep 29, 2011 4:54 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Everything becomes 1000 times creepier if you imagine this photo with it
This comment section has officially been Tater'd.
yep
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
True
Insurance Salesman: (knocks on door) Sir, I’d like to talk to you about your life insurance options.
Kraken: 
Insurance Salesman: I’ll see myself out
by James Dator on Sep 29, 2011 4:58 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
...
BAMF: Ok Greg, so me your best war face on gameday.
Kraken:
BAMF: 
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
by Ivan459 on Sep 29, 2011 5:01 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
lol
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
BURRR

Im too lazy to put my words on the pic
This has been a public service announcement.......
by CaptainPanther on Sep 29, 2011 8:28 PM EDT up reply actions
JR: You know what you look like to me, with your good uniform and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition’s given you some length of bone, but you’re not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Mr. Cutler? And that accent you’ve tried so desperately to shed: pure Vanderbilt. What is your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the girls found you… all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars… while you could only dream of getting out… getting anywhere… getting all the way to the NFL.
Cutler: You see a lot, sir. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don’t you – why don’t you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you’re afraid to.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
by BW Smith on Sep 29, 2011 5:00 PM EDT reply actions 1 recs
Honestly, I could absolutely see JR saying something like this.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
BAMF: Mike Martz is helping your career isn’t he? Apparently he likes you and you like him too.
Cutler: I never thought about it.
BAMF: Do you think that Mike Martz wants you sexually? True, he is much older but do you think he visualizes scenarios, exchanges, f@cking you?
Cutler: That doesn’t interest me coach, and frankly, it’s…it’s the sort of thing that Fox would say.
BAMF: Not anymore.
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
AHHHHHHHH!!!!
That was too far
Do you think that Mike Martz wants you sexually?
Jeez, you should write children’s cards.
Tattoo your name on my arm
I always said my girl's a good luck charm. -The Ramones
Please, let’s not encourage him.
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
I know I shouldn't but part of me wants to see what BW would come up with.
It’s like when you are out and someone says, “this is terrible, try some.” and you do.
I know it will be terrible (terrifying) but damn it I am curious.
Tattoo your name on my arm
I always said my girl's a good luck charm. -The Ramones
Freaking awesome Tater.
Do you mind if I copy this and send it to some friends? Attributed of course.
Tattoo your name on my arm
I always said my girl's a good luck charm. -The Ramones
I'd like to put the lotion on that skin.
This comment section has officially been Tater'd.
by Tater596 on Sep 29, 2011 7:44 PM EDT up reply actions 1 recs
oh yes
This has been a public service announcement.......
by CaptainPanther on Sep 29, 2011 7:54 PM EDT up reply actions
I just put some on my own...does that count?
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
lol
I don't always fail, but when I do...
I do it awesomely.
by BusyBeingAwesome on Sep 29, 2011 9:09 PM EDT up reply actions
What? My hands were chapped...
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
now your d*cks chapped...
I don't always fail, but when I do...
I do it awesomely.
by BusyBeingAwesome on Sep 29, 2011 9:55 PM EDT up reply actions
no....that's why I used lotion :-)
The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you. ~David Foster Wallace
I may not always be right, but even a blind nut finds a squirrel every once in a while.
Heres what went down
Steve feels like this

Because he did this

With

Kraken saw and was like

Then he was like

Then BAMF walked in

by pcroadrage on Sep 29, 2011 10:12 PM EDT reply actions 6 recs
NICE! lol
This has been a public service announcement.......
by CaptainPanther on Sep 29, 2011 11:06 PM EDT up reply actions
Stole the BAMF pic… but I is ok with it because this is a brilliant post. You absolutely are full of WIN on this my friend!
Rec’d!
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
Nah man, I meant it in jest. Well done though seriously!
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
…now that is a tad to far… lol
Proud Member of Cat Scratch Reader and coiner of the (minus Bowers) meme
lol
I thought i was getting close to the line in the first place, I’ll cool it a little bit. Can’t be as bad as the see you next Tuesday jokes though
Simply
Awesome
You get what you put in and people get what they deserve.
by Disciple of Carolina on Sep 30, 2011 10:47 AM EDT via mobile up reply actions






























