Jacoby Ford! We went out and got him baby! Wooo! Go Panthers!
Glorious elation breaks out in the Carolina today this morning as the Carolina Panthers ship two draft picks ((undisclosed)), David Gettis, and Armanti Edwards to the Oakland Raiders in exchange for Jacoby Ford, one of the fastest receivers in the NFL. This is big guys. From DWI lazy receivers like Dwayne Jarrett to free agent flops like DJ Hackett, we finally have someone on the other side of the field to take pressure off of Steve Smith.
Marty Hurney was on Panthers pulse later on that night in order to explain the move, and he provided his usual brilliance in this epic stroke of genius that is sure to affect the Panthers for years to come.
"With the introduction of the new rule moving the kickoffs back 5 years, you're starting to see a real value drop with kick returners throughout the league like with the Chicago Bear's Devin Hester and the Brown's Jordan Norwood. Once Jacoby Ford got to the point where he was within our reach and after talking the matter over with Ron we got to the point where we could see ourselves making a deal for him. He's a talented, quick receiver with a future in this league and I believe in time he can develop into the heir for Steve Smith."
The interview was followed up this morning with a press conference as Ron Rivera provided the official unveiling of Jacoby Ford's new jersey together with the man himself. Jacoby Ford was wearing a grin the size of Texas himself as he made his first Press Conference with the Panthers.
"You have no idea how happy I am to be back on the East Coast. I'd like to thank the Oakland Raiders for the faith they had in me when they took me last year in the Draft, but I'm so happy to be closer to my family and closer to my home. Charlotte is a wonderful city, and I know I'm going to make lots of good memories here. Glad to be back on the East Coast baby! Wooo!"
Ron Rivera was next to the podium, his usual poise and confidence blanketing the room in awe.
"We made the move to go grab Jeremy Shockey at tight end when he was released, giving us a do-it-all guy who can both block and catch the ball. Now we got another deep threat in Jacoby Ford that can threaten the deep ball in every single play. Yep. I'd say we're just about good for the 2011 season. Now all we need is a QB. No offense Clausen."
Clausen was spotted in the corner of the room, his head tilted down in agony.
Steve Smith was found shedding tears in the locker room, using the entire off-season to work out in the Panther's training gym. He plans to book a trip for him and his prodigy to the tallest mountain in NC, Mount Michell, to train for the days to come.
"I used to go there every winter when I was in my younger years, pulling dogsleds with these big rocks on top of them with my old high school teammate Chad to keep in shape. I gave it up a couple years ago, but now....now I finally have a heir to call my own. I finally have someone I can call my son. You better let that boy Ford know, I'm not gonna take it easy on him. If I catch him slacking off while we're training, I'm gonna kick his..."
It's fairly obvious by now that this is all an April Fool's joke, but this next thing I'm gonna tell you something that isn't. It's very interesting who Raiders Head Coach Hue Jackson compared Jacoby Ford to today. Down the stretch, Jacoby Ford was said that he "reminded me of Steve Smith of the Panthers." It's kind of sad looking back, watching the Panthers make the move for Armanti Edwards. The beast known as Ford was staring them in the face, and they looked away.
One day the Panthers will find a heir for Steve Smith. Until, we'll just have to wait. Happy April Fools day guys! :p Hopefully our new TE will channel the Ghost of Wesley Walls and make us proud!