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Hating with SB: Washington Redskin Edition

(I wonder if I should set this entire article in the sarcasm font... but I will start you on this path of words by warning: take nothing serious unless your name is iH8dallas)

 

Welcome to something that will never be done again, "Hating with SB", your very low-depth analysis of what the opposing team of the week... well, mostly it'll be about what their fans are like. As a matter of fact, I won't speak much of the opposing team. I can't write it from my laptop because it was stol... OH, I see what he did there! THAT BASTARD!

 

 

Anyway, this week, we play a team that President Obama probably doesn't watch...The Washington Redskins, who are based in an intellectually-diverse state of Republicans and Democrats. This is a team that benches more players than Jimmy benches pounds!! BAHAHAHA oh wait, this is a Redskin-hate thread.

At 3-2, the Beckwagon is starting its engine for the first time. [Here, some irrelevant joke about a past player and their small jersey] I don't think team allegiance is their problem, but maybe getting out of the stadium lot after the game!!! BAHAHAHAH! dangggg, forgot this is a Redskin-hate thread. Considering they have broken the single-season attendance record through nine seasons, I won't talk much of the Redskins selling tickets.

so instead, I IMPLORE YOU TO LOOK AT THIS HUMILIATING PHOTO! MWAHAHA!!! 

Redskins_tattoo_design_by_coolerking_medium

via fc02.deviantart.net

BAHAHAHA!!!! ... oh crap, wrong photo!

_b9rerfq_wk___kgrhqf__iuezn3muc8qbm6dgvh4t___0_3_jpg_medium

via i.ebayimg.com

OMGOSH THAT'S SO FUNNY! TAKE THAT WASH... crap, did it again.

Washington-redskins-logo2_gif_medium

via 3.bp.blogspot.com

YES! THAT'S IT! AHAHAHAH SUCK IT, REDSKINS!! UPSIDE DOWN!! LOLOLOL!

anyway, back to this idiotic "hate" post...

Clearly, this week will be a home game for Washington (I think iH8 messed up this part... silly, hypocritical high school student!), and if you're going you will be sitting beside some pepsi-drinking, Panther hat wearing, America loving, Wal-Mart wearing, small-short-person-who-on-second-look-is-actually-an-innocent-child buffoon; that (iH8, here's a quick high school English lesson: "who will only be there", not "that will only be there") will only be there because they actually worked hard this year to buy their ticket.

I'm sure if you're there in person (not sure how else you'll be there if not "in person") this "inbred psycho-case homosexual cannibal tranny" beside you will overwhelm you with any combination of the following questions and/or statements:

1. "Hey, how are you?"

2. "Do you remember where you parked? You do? Good, just making sure! This town is tricky!"

3. "There's a race going on today, but I'd rather watch this great game of NFL!"

4. And as he gets more insufferably happy, he'll trumpet a gay hippy blast, claiming how wonderful the day is. GAWD, HE'D PROBABLY REMARK AT HOW FEW CLOUDS THERE ARE IN THE SKY! WHAT A FREAK!

But enough of the fan experience, onto the game. There's no way Carolina will give those Redskins their land back! ... There. That should be enough to merit this racist post as slightly-above-unintelligent.

The Redskins might put more points on the board than dollars Auburn threw at Cam's dad (yeah, we'll get to this soon)... The Redskins are gonna hit them harder than Steve Smith did Ken Lucas (though if iH8 wants a brawl, he probably shouldn't have picked someone who'd kick any Redskin's ass). This game is gonna get uglier than the chicks Jimmy Clausen gets with (bahaha iH8 CMON, MAN ... you mean uglier than the dudes). Ron Rivera's gonna be more confused than Michele Bachmann during Blue's Clues (WTF? did iH8's hate run out?). The Panthers are gonna lay down faster than a Kardashian in an NBA locker-room (WTF is this? we all know that Kardashians are dominatrices, and will be on top for the entire time until the last 5 minutes!)

H8's final Redskins YAH! Panthers BOO!

SB's final (according to iH8's statement of how many "dollars Auburn threw at Cam's dad")

Redskins 0 Panthers 27

iH8, a quick high school history lesson: Cecil Newton allegedly went to MISS St for money, not Auburn. we're learning a lot today, huh my student?

 

i think Hog's Haven has some really great contributors, has some AMAZINGLY in-depth articles, and is run by some pretty smart people. unfortunately iH8 does not belong in any of the above. I understand loving your team, and I understand hating another team, but in the end we're all here to represent the team we love. not misrepresent the team you hate. you want to represent your team by being a classless, ignorant, know-nothing? go ahead! gives me more ammunition for my next edition of Hating with SB... (not that there will ever be one of these again) you don't excite the fanbase by revealing your nontalent of taking stereotypes and tragedies of a new franchise; you excite by giving wonderful stats, by giving optimism.

that's what is so great about CSR, we don't hate. even our poor, poor PantherTrain gets all the love in the world (kidding, luv ya PT!). there's not much to be said between friday and sunday that hasn't already been said, so i wanted to give a bit of humor and happiness to you guys. we could all gather around and tell tasteless "jokes" regarding opposing teams, or we could use that time to study and analyze our team, to love and cherish our team.

really glad to be a part of this community, guys! hope we take it to these Redskins : P i'd rather we not say anything about the Skins or their fans, but let our team speak for us. we're going to have this team for a long time, so they'll be speaking for us... for a long : )

 

relevant links

the entire reason why this post was created:

http://www.hogshaven.com/2011/10/20/2502753/hating-with-h8-carolina-panthers-edition

 

two links that break-down two crucial elements of the Redskin's play (QB John Beck and the defense ploy of "Cover Zero")

http://www.hogshaven.com/2011/10/19/2501044/the-inevitable-john-beck-breakdown

http://www.hogshaven.com/2011/10/21/2504657/cover-zero-is-a-risk-worth-taking-for-the-redskins

 

to the writers of CSR: i REALLY love those last two links, how they analyze and draw little lines and circles and tell me all of what's going on. i BEG you guys to give us some analysis such as this!! : )

The content of these posts are those of the user/fan making the post only

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