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Around SBN: NFL Owners Vote to Change Trade Deadline

Chris Berman's punny nicknames


Help me Cat Scratch Readers, you're my only hope.  We all know how Berman/Boomer comes up with the crazy nicknames ("Daylight come and me wanna Delhomme").  A link to many others provided after the break.  With all of our young guys that will be making ESPN highlights this year, I say we beat him to the punch.  "Moore" after the jump...

Star-divide

Help me come up with some good nicknames for guys like Matt Moore, Jimmy Clausen, Jeff Otah, Jordan Gross, Ryan Kalil, et al.  This is the only group I know with the imagination and creativity to pull this off.  Check out the link to Berman's names if you need a little inspiration.  (I reluctantly admit I thought some of them were pretty darn good).

http://www.funny2.com/berman.htm

The content of these posts are those of the user/fan making the post only

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I know these suck, but I don't care..

John just in Kasay
Everette Brown Sugar
Charles oh my Godfrey
Sherrod Aston Martin

"Stay thirsty my friends"

by Rick Bates on May 16, 2010 11:36 AM EDT reply actions  

Berman: The Panthers are up 31-7 on da’ Bucs with 1:32 left in the game, and they bring in John Just In Kasay, to add 3 more to the scoreboard.

I like it!

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 16, 2010 4:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

THIS!!!!!!!

wow spot friggin on Rick seriously spot on

Thomas Davis, Jon Beason, Eric Norwood, Dan Conner, James Anderson, and Jamar Williams are our LB corp!!!!

Tank (306) and Leonard (325) will stop the run and collapse the pocket! I promise!

Our front 7 will be BEAST!

by STEVEN 785 on May 16, 2010 6:25 PM EDT up reply actions  

Matt “We don’t need Clausen no” Moore
Jimmy “Lobster” Clausen
Jeff Otah “be in Carolina in the Morning”
Jordan Gross “Ton”
“Cornbeef on” Ryan Kalil
Captain “Crunch” Munnerlyn

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 16, 2010 11:37 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

I knew I could count on Sniff...

Those are very, very good. Hard to pick a favorite, but I think I like the Otah one by a nose over Kalil.

"Stay thirsty my friends"

by Rick Bates on May 16, 2010 12:02 PM EDT up reply actions  

Sherman Tank Tyler
Kareem Abdul Jamar Williams
Morrty Poison Ivy
Mackenzy Setting Hair on Fire Bernadeau
Dante Rosario Beads
Gary Let the Horses out of the Barnidge
Great White Hunter Cantwell
Aaron I Left My Heart in San Francisco

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 16, 2010 9:42 PM EDT up reply actions  

Those are great Sniff...

Are you sure you’re not Berman?

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 16, 2010 11:27 PM EDT up reply actions  

Awesome!
Sherman Tank Tyler

My favorite!

by The Duke Dude on May 19, 2010 9:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

The link never mentioned Ty " I fought the" Law "and the Law won.

Scientific research has proven that you lose exactly 5.37 billion brain cells every time you listen to Todd McShay.

by TheRealSlimShady on May 16, 2010 1:43 PM EDT reply actions  

Travelle ‘World’ Wharton
Geoff ‘May the’ Schwartz ‘be with you’

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 16, 2010 5:08 PM EDT reply actions  

I got a couple more here

- DeAngelo Williams ‘Sonoma’ (he’s always got something cookin’)
- Jonathan ‘Patrick’ Stewart (we’ll convert Trekkies into Panthers fans)
- Tyrell Sutton ‘wrong with that’
- David Gettis ‘berg address’ (oooh history)
- Everette ‘what can’ Brown ‘do for you?’ (sponsorship possibility?)
- Tank Tyler ‘Durden’
- Louis Leonard ‘Skynard’ (Look, I know it’s not spelled right, but it plays well in the South)

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 18, 2010 2:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

lol

All good stuff! I particularly like Gettis-berg Address and Leonard Skynyrd.

by patosan on May 18, 2010 9:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

lot of good ones James

Sutton wrong wit dat (edited slightly)
Gettis berg address is great

"Stay thirsty my friends"

by Rick Bates on May 18, 2010 10:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

…and watch Jimmy “Toss the Pickle” Clausen…?

Eh…reaching a bit, I suppose.

by Mr_Sticky on May 16, 2010 5:58 PM EDT reply actions  

perhaps too esoteric...or maybe too Cole Porter...

“It’s delightful, it’s delicious, it’s” DeAngelo Williams

by Mr_Sticky on May 16, 2010 6:05 PM EDT reply actions  

on offence

Jeff “The Great State of” Otah

by pantha khan on May 16, 2010 7:00 PM EDT reply actions  

how about

matt" give me" moore
jimmy the clausin"cutoff" (old Johnny Carson joke)

by pantha khan on May 16, 2010 7:03 PM EDT reply actions  

You can tell we have nothing to talk about, lol.

Here are a few of mine…

Brandon Lafell “and I can’t get up”
Jimmy “Santa” Clausen
“Georgio” Armanti Edwards

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 16, 2010 7:04 PM EDT reply actions   1 recs

also...

Greg “Laurel and” Hardy

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 16, 2010 7:09 PM EDT up reply actions  

The lafell one is great

Scientific research has proven that you lose exactly 5.37 billion brain cells every time you listen to Todd McShay.

by TheRealSlimShady on May 16, 2010 7:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

I agree LaFell one is best

by chillicothe20 on May 17, 2010 2:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

Good ones

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 16, 2010 9:53 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah....after throwing a INT

Jimmy ‘Santa’ Clausen…let’s hope we don’t hear that one much

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by Jaxon on May 17, 2010 8:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

“Little Jimmy” Clausen
Jimmy Clausen’s “coming to town”

by patosan on May 16, 2010 10:29 PM EDT reply actions  

Jeff “I twat” Otah" a putty tat!"

by patosan on May 16, 2010 10:31 PM EDT reply actions  

lol

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 16, 2010 11:28 PM EDT up reply actions  

Oh Captain, My Captain Munnerlyn
Mr. Ed Johnson
Dante Rosario Dawson
RJ Stanford & Son
Steve Hall of Justice
Jason the Butcher, the Baker, & the Candlestick Maker

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 16, 2010 11:35 PM EDT reply actions  

Jordan “Winnie the” Pugh

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 16, 2010 11:46 PM EDT up reply actions  

LOL!

Good bye #43. Good luck in Chicago.

by Flowing Willow on May 17, 2010 3:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

Equally good ones, Swami

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 16, 2010 11:55 PM EDT up reply actions  

Phone Berman, I have a good one (I think) !!

I’m Matt as he*! and I’m not gonna take it any Moore

by patosan on May 17, 2010 12:04 AM EDT reply actions  

Steve Smith & Wesson
Dwayne he went to Jarrett
Richard Marshall Tucker Band
Sherrod My Favorite Martin (also works for Charly)
What’s the Frequency Kenneth Moore
Marcus Walker Texas Ranger
Brian and the dish ran away Witherspoon
“I am William” Wallace Wright
Derek Dirty Landri

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 17, 2010 12:15 AM EDT reply actions  

Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner
Brian and the dish ran away Witherspoon

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 17, 2010 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yeah I liked that one too, lol.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 17, 2010 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

Spare Sherrod and spoil the Martin

by patosan on May 17, 2010 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions  

All very funny!!!

Good stuff… Keep’em coming.

by patosan on May 17, 2010 12:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

How bout...

Hunter “There’s Nothing He” Cant “Do” Well
Matt “Sir, I’d Like Some” Moore
Jimmy “He’s Got Some Claws”-en

by chillicothe20 on May 17, 2010 2:04 AM EDT reply actions  

This one actually sounds like something Boomer would say

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 17, 2010 9:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

he did

when the Giants had Armani Toomer

by Novar on May 18, 2010 8:38 AM EDT up reply actions  

I thought it sounded familiar, lol.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 18, 2010 9:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

I was never a big fan of Toomer, but Berman’s nickname was smooth.

by Novar on May 19, 2010 2:45 PM EDT up reply actions  

In my best Arnold voice

“It’s NOT a Toomer”

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 19, 2010 5:33 PM EDT up reply actions  

Alright here we go

Jimmy “The Tulip” Clausen
Brandon “what happened Timmy? I LaFell.”
Armanti “Exchange” Edwards
Greg “Thickburger” Hardy
Jeff WHOOOAAAAAAAA-tah
Jordan Gross Domestic Product
Matt “We ain’t got Jake no” Moore
Ryan “The Real Deal in Teal” Kalil
Sherrod Wal-Martin
Charles Oh. My. Godfrey.
Everette “After Labor Day” Brown
Tony Fiamazda
Dexter “Action” Jackson
Gary “TAKE IT TO THE BARN!”idge
Richard “Fire” Marshall
Dante “What’s in a” Rosario
Geoff Schwartzenaegger
R.J. Stanford and Sons
Tyrell “All of a” Sutton
Dan “Here to protect Sarah” Connor

Unofficial Agent for Armanti Edwards, WR #10, Carolina Panthers

by Tater596 on May 17, 2010 9:08 AM EDT reply actions  

oh man... cant resist. a couple name-digs.

Mike “I thought you were supposed to be Good?”son
Matt “Yeah I threw a pick, but Jake threw” Moore
Armanti “Tony Pike is a quarterback and I’m not?” Edwards
Tony “I got injured on the turn”Pike

Unofficial Agent for Armanti Edwards, WR #10, Carolina Panthers

by Tater596 on May 17, 2010 9:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

I could parody Matt Moore all day

“I’m not just a door” Matt “any” Moore

Unofficial Agent for Armanti Edwards, WR #10, Carolina Panthers

by Tater596 on May 17, 2010 9:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

These are good
Jeff WHOOOAAAAAAAA-tah
Charles Oh. My. Godfrey.
Gary "TAKE IT TO THE BARN!"idge
Geoff Schwartzenaegger

Someone pass these to Boomer

by The Duke Dude on May 19, 2010 9:52 AM EDT up reply actions  

Honestly my favorite creation was

Ryan “The Real Deal in Teal” Kalil.

was hoping for more of a response on that one. just because of the alliteration. :o)

Unofficial Agent for Armanti Edwards, WR #10, Carolina Panthers

by Tater596 on May 19, 2010 10:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

Not trying to be a douchebag, but that's not alliteration, it's rhyming.

Alliteration is using the same letter at the start of each word. Okay, maybe I am being a douchebag, no offense tater.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

And for the record...

The Real Deal in Teal Kalil is an awesome nickname.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 10:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

To be super duper technical (and to cure boredom)

Tater’s nickname is actually assonance, not alliteration, because the rhyming sounds are vowels. Assonance is a form of alliteration, but the term alliteration is normally used to denote using the same consonant sound at the beginning of each word in a phrase (e.g. – Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Peppers).

Is it training camp yet? LOL

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 10:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

I'll answer your final question with a Haiku

No training camp yet
Early August in Wofford
Will Jarrett show up?

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 19, 2010 11:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

No he will not show
He has done nothing thus far
To prove otherwise.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 11:42 AM EDT up reply actions  

I agree with that
He’s only had one good game
It was just okay

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 19, 2010 1:47 PM EDT up reply actions  

Some say it’s Jake’s fault
That he wasn’t any good,
But I disagree.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 2:08 PM EDT up reply actions  

We’ll soon know for sure
Whether this is true at all
Poor Jake is a Brown

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 19, 2010 4:41 PM EDT up reply actions  

Yes, stuck in Cleveland
Where good careers go to die.
I hate it for him.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 4:59 PM EDT up reply actions  

Maybe they’ll be good
Now a walrus is in charge
Holmgren is his name

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 20, 2010 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

Holmgren is really dumb
He had Alexander there
But yet never won

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 20, 2010 1:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

But you are forgetting

His Super Bowl with Green Bay
Not so dumb now eh?

Good bye #43. Good luck in Chicago.

by Flowing Willow on May 20, 2010 2:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

Haiku FAIL

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 20, 2010 6:58 AM EDT up reply actions  

Ah indeed good sir
It should be five, seven, five
Unlike your one above mine.

Good bye #43. Good luck in Chicago.

by Flowing Willow on May 21, 2010 3:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

Indeed it is sir
Shows I count better sober
I bow to your youth

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 21, 2010 7:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

lol

HAIKU SUCCESS

Good bye #43. Good luck in Chicago.

by Flowing Willow on May 22, 2010 1:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

Haiku of reply

No offense taken
I know I suck at grammar
Forgive my misuse

Unofficial Agent for Armanti Edwards, WR #10, Carolina Panthers

by Tater596 on May 20, 2010 9:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

No problem at all.
We all make grammar mistakes
At some point in time.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 20, 2010 9:38 AM EDT up reply actions  

Indeed that is true
My Achilles is typos
Proof read more should I

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 20, 2010 9:41 AM EDT up reply actions  

I know what you mean,
I have a lot of them too
I think we all do.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 20, 2010 1:48 PM EDT up reply actions  

oooh literary... I like it!

Cat Scratch Reader's resident optimist.
I also blog the Panthers at www.realbitsofpanthers.com

by James Dator on May 18, 2010 2:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

oh...I see...

…you like literary but not musical theatre. Okay…this is a football blog…I can understand that. :-D

by Mr_Sticky on May 18, 2010 2:14 PM EDT up reply actions  

Here are a few guys from next years draft

Andrew “good” luck
Jake Locker"room"
Ryan “pound the” Mallet

This sig is dedicated to those cut in the 2009 purge.

by chinchillas sword on May 18, 2010 6:25 AM EDT reply actions  

For our malcontent former player...

Julius “ears are bigger than bell” Peppers

by flyfishinva on May 19, 2010 4:30 PM EDT reply actions  

I can't lie - I LOL'd at this one.

Nice work.

Thanks to the Denver Broncos, my sanity (what's left of it, at least) will remain intact for 2010.

My Panthers Blog | My Twitter Page

by BW Smith on May 19, 2010 4:38 PM EDT up reply actions  

Aaron Whats that growing in the Pettrey dish

Knee jerk reaction - adj. 1. an immediate unthinking emotional reaction produced by an event or statement to which the reacting person is highly sensitive. 2. a facilitator of long threads on Cat Scratch Reader and similar blogs.

by Sniff on May 20, 2010 10:03 AM EDT reply actions  

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