Hey -- What's going on, guys? It's me, again -- your favorite safety -- Chris Harris.
Aight, I know I made an announcement on what just so happened to be April Fools Day about wanting to join the PBA, but guess what... I wasn't joking.
I really am going to join the PBA. But what you guys don't realize is that I wasn't talking about the Profesional Bowlers Association; I was talking about joining the Payne Bowling Attack.
What's the Payne Bowling Attack, you ask? Basically, it's me calling out Kevin Payne (my friend, ex-college teammate, and safety for the Chicago Bears), letting him know that I'm a way better bowler than he is.
Sure... Kevin's alright at the alley, but I'm a faaaaaar superior bowler. We used to bowl together all the time back in our college days, and I'm sure the skills he watched me exhibit were what helped make him the decent bowler he is today, but he will NEVER-EVER be better than I am.
That's right... NEVER! Just forget about tryin'. You > Me -- It ain't gonna happen.
So y'all stay tuned, alright? Because, you know, sooner or later we're gonna be able to battle it out, and I'll prove to each and every one of you (ESPECIALLY YOU, PAYNE) that I'M the real deal. I ALWAYS rise to a challenge, just like I did that time I rolled a 255 in the face of a former opponent. Don't think I won't do that to you, Kevin - I'll pull one of those games out of my arsenal any day of the week!