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The Clausen Drinking Game



As first brought up by Jaxon in order to make this season a little more tolerable, I've devised a full blown drinking game based around our rookie QB, Jimmy Clausen.  The rules are simple.  You either choose Pro-Clausen or Anti-Clausen before the game and based on how he performs, you have to drink accordingly.  Those who are Pro-Clausen, will drink when he does something bad.  Those who are Anti-Clausen will drink when he does something good.  We'll amend the rules as necessary.

As a throw back to my college days, this game will be measured in "drinks."  "Drinks" essentially constitute one swig, sip, gulp, or whatever other word you use to describe when you take a drink.  The only exception to this is when a rule specifically states that you finish your beer.  In this case, you will consume the remainder of your beverage regardless of how much is left in it.

Do you dare support your rookie in this game?

Pro-Clausen Rules

If the WR was a Barn - Maybe you wouldn't be drinking.  That wild throw will cost you 1 Drink.
Diving, But Short - Positional awareness will cost you 1 Drink when Clausen pulls up short for a first down.
Passing to the Cheerleaders - Maybe Clausen will score with one of them?  Either way, you'll Drink 2 as he passes out of bounds.
Eating Turf - As Clausen is dropped to the turff, you will guzzle down 3 Drinks.  Curse the linemen after you drink please.
Doink, Off the Head - Tipped, batted, deflected, or even off the head of his lineman, they're all worth 2 to you.  Drink up.
It Slipped - Butter has more stick than this guy's hands.  And that fumble will cost more than 6 points, drink 5.
The Wrong Color - You will finish your beer for supporting the man who threw the ball to your opponent.

 

Anti-Clausen Rules


It's a Catch - Clausen completed a pass.  You'll complete 1 Drink.
Vick Wannabe - And you said he didn't have wheels.  Drink 1 as Clausen rushes for a first down.
He Dropped the Bomb on Me - "Baby!"  Blame Clausen all you want, if his receiver had a hand on it, you'll Drink 2.
Lasers Locked - Did you see him fire that 10  yard strike?  Good, cause you'll drink 2 for it.
We're Going the Distance - For passes over 25 yards, you'll drink 3 for that.
He Can't Score - No, but John Kasay can.  Drink 5 for the Field Goal drive.
TD?  You kiddin me?  TD!? - No, Jim Mora, we're not.  Finish your beer when Clausen scores a touchdown.

More rules to come as I think of them.

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